Good vs Great.
Most of the time, I watch porn and think to myself how in the hell did she do that? It’s like she just gave reverse birth! Then, there...
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dearabi
- Apr 3, 2013
- 2 min
Turtlenecks and Top Hats.
For me, a penis is a penis, is a penis. As long as there’s nothing green oozing from it and can get the job done, I’m an equal...
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dearabi
- Mar 27, 2013
- 2 min
Wet Dreams Are Made of These.
I’ve been having a lot of dirty dreams lately. About people I don’t even like, and one that could possible be a figment of my...
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dearabi
- Mar 20, 2013
- 1 min
Leggo My Eggo.
My friend mentioned the Tenga Egg last week, and I was completely lost. So he had me YouTube the commercial, and I must say this is...
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dearabi
- Mar 20, 2013
- 2 min
Party Like A Rockstar, Fuck Like A Porn Star.
I haven’t gotten laid in months and pictures of my porn-crush (who just so happens to be the porn-twin of a man I used to date) keep...
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dearabi
- Mar 13, 2013
- 1 min
Happy (early) Steak and Blowjob Day.
For all you whiney motherfuckers complaining that Valentine’s Day is sexist and basically a bunch of bullshit, here: Happy Steak and...
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dearabi
- Mar 6, 2013
- 3 min
Rip The Runway.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, me being an ex go-go dancer should come as no surprise to you. For those who haven’t, it’s...
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dearabi
- Feb 27, 2013
- 3 min
Do For Sex.
We’ve already come to the consensus that people will do some crazy, not to mention dumb ass shit for LOVE. I’ve personally drove an hour...
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dearabi
- Feb 20, 2013
- 3 min
P90seX.
A lot of people joke about the health benefits of sex. All over the internet, you can find “facts” about how semen improves your skin,...
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dearabi
- Feb 13, 2013
- 2 min
The Unicorn.
Remember when I wrote this story about my girl that never masturbated before? I nearly dropped the ketchup and drove to the nearest Good...
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dearabi
- Feb 6, 2013
- 2 min
Snow-Bunnies.
While Gchatting with one of my favorite snow bunnies about tossing salad, she brought up snowballing and explained that it was probably...
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dearabi
- Jan 30, 2013
- 2 min
First and Last.
I once heard the saying, “The only thing better than having sex, is having sex with someone new.” Now what kind of fucked up shit is...
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dearabi
- Jan 23, 2013
- 3 min
Dirty Girl.
I think we can all agree that anyone who reads my blog is a fan of sex. Why not? Sex is great. It’s like, fucking AMAZING to be exact....
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dearabi
- Jan 16, 2013
- 2 min
Super Salad.
So I heard this story (hah, you already know it’s going to be at least somewhat good whenever a post starts like that). It’s about this...
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dearabi
- Jan 9, 2013
- 1 min
Mack of the Year.
Miss Christy Mack, Mack, Mack All dressed in black, black, black With a big dick, dick, dick All up her ass, ass, ass. And what an ass...
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dearabi
- Jan 2, 2013
- 2 min
Who Wanna Be Famous?
During a drunken ride to the BART station one night, a friend of mine said with margarita breath, “Where you going Abi? I’m tryna get on...
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dearabi
- Dec 19, 2012
- 2 min
Silver Foxes and Cougar Cubs.
While perusing my Instagram feed today, I came across a friend of a friend whose boner needed to be against me like, YESTERDAY. But then...
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dearabi
- Dec 5, 2012
- 2 min
Mr. Telephone Man
I’m not sure what took me so long to write about phone sex seeing as it’s pretty common (I think?). Perhaps, it’s the fact that I haven’t...
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dearabi
- Nov 28, 2012
- 2 min
5 Movie Characters I Want To Bang.
Don’t get it twisted. There are actors I star fuck, and then there are specific movie characters I want to bang. As if all that didn’t...
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dearabi
- Nov 21, 2012
- 2 min
I’ve Been A Bad, Bad Girl.
Last night I had the worst writers block I’ve had in a while. I got back from dinner and sat in front of my laptop for a good 20 minutes...
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