I think we can all agree that anyone who reads my blog is a fan of sex. Why not? Sex is great. It’s like, fucking AMAZING to be exact. There’s so many different ways to have it too. There’s that slow, passionate sex where he’s sucking on your bottom lip as you drag your finger tips up and down his back. And of course that hard, rough sex where the neighbors call the cops, because they think someone’s getting their ass beat. I mean, I guess you can look at it that way. But then, there’s that sex so raunchy you lay there afterwards thinking to yourself, did that just happened?
I remember this night clearly. I specifically remember being on my period too. Not the first or last day either. It had to have been the second or third. If you’re a female, you know what the fuck that means. And if you’re a male, all you need to know is you don’t want to fuck her on those days. Unless of course, you want to look like you just helped deliver a baby-cow. Because I’m talking CSI-First-48-Quentin-Tarantino-fight-scene type shit on the second and third day. At any rate, I was on my second or third day, so that should already be a precursor for how this story is going to go.
Now, I told the bastard I was on my period. I even told him it was heavy, and shit was going to get messy. But did he care? Probably. He just didn’t care enough to NOT grab a towel to place underneath me. I’m more than apprehensive at first. Feeling shy as shit, because I feel as if any moment now I’m going to bleed an ovary onto his couch. However, he seems to not care, so we commence to fucking.
I don’t know if I’m just always horny, or the rumors about women being more horny on their period are true. Either way it’s like a clip from a National Geographic special a few minutes later. He’s fucking me so hard sweat begins to trickle down his nose, and I can feel it land on my face. I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty fucking gross. He barely missed my eye – twice. But whatever, I’m leaking plasma on his couch so who am I to complain? Needless to say it’s sweatier than a motherfucker in the living room. He’s sweating, I’m sweating. He’s groaning, I’m screaming. He’s telling me to slap him, I say no and get shy, so he provokes me by playfully slapping me and out of reflex I pull back and LET. HIM. HAVE. IT. This pleasantly surprises him, and he asks me to do it again (go figure). I refuse, and then he proceeds to fuck me back to the future.
Next thing you know, he pulls out and cum shoots past my face, grazing my cheek, and lands on the pillow next to me. One thing I commend him for is the fact that even with a condom on he always pulls out, which I am grateful for because the condom just so happened to break that night. Hence, the cum shot. You should’ve seen that thing too, it was all tore up, still hanging from his dick like a rubber band looking like it never stood a chance. So there I laid. Bathing in almost every bodily fluid I could think of, while this man grabbed another towel to wipe me down. How romantic.
We took the quietest shower together afterwards. I couldn’t even look him in the eye, even though his offspring was swimming in my belly-button just minutes prior. Once quarantined I felt better, but I still spent the next few minutes before I fell asleep feeling slightly ashamed. Sure, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. There were no midgets, donkeys, vegetables, or tazer guns involved. But it was still the dirtiest sex I’ve had by far.
If you’re feeling brave, feel free to share your dirtiest sex story!