I haven’t gotten laid in months and pictures of my porn-crush (who just so happens to be the porn-twin of a man I used to date) keep popping up on my Instagram feed. This dude works out. A lot. So most of his pictures are progress shots of his cut ass arms, or impeccable six-pack with the occasion pit bull cameo here and there *swoon*. The worst is when he takes selfies of his obliques and his boxer briefs are barely there, because I know what motherfucking monster lies beneath them.
Maybe it’s just the blood rushing back up to my head since my current living situation prevents me from masturbating, but I think my porn-star crush has gotten a little ridiculous. On several occasions I’ve even day-dreamed about meeting him. Usually, I’m at some sandwich shop or juice spot of some sort minding my own business and waiting for my order. He grabs some napkins by me, I say something witty, he asks for my number, and we end up going on a date because “I’m not like the rest of them” lmao. Another scenario involves him noticing me looking sad, and asking if I’m OK. Maybe I’m even crying by myself in my prom dress. But obviously it doesn’t really matter how it starts, we all know how it’s gonna end: face down, ass up with him wanting to date me, but me refusing because I just can’t take his lifestyle. Haaaaaah.
Asides from me questioning my sanity, all of this day-dreaming has also got me wondering if I’d actually fuck a porn-star if given the opportunity to. Even if he was clear of all STDs, there’s still that whole ethics issue. Females don’t get props for fucking porn stars like men do, we just get called dirty whores. And I have too much pride to even get set up on a date. Oh who am I kidding? There’s definitely an 80% 90% 95% chance I’d let him hit if no one would ever find out.
But damn, where’s the fun in that if I can’t blog about it?
Ladies, would you fuck your favorite porn star?