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Wet Dreams Are Made of These.

I’ve been having a lot of dirty dreams lately. About people I don’t even like, and one that could possible be a figment of my imagination. Some of them are so vivid, I wake up feeling embarrassed as shit looking over my shoulder hoping that I wasn’t pillow-humping in my sleep. Just last week I had two of these naughty kinds of dreams.

In the first one I was with some white guy that I’ve never seen in real life or pictures. But for a man that may not even exist, we were pretty fucking close. The dream was so explicit that even my bastos ass is too ashamed to give you all the details. Let’s just say that it ended with him splooging in my mouth. Yup, I just said that. WOW. In the second dream, I was banging an acquaintance of mine from back home that I follow on Instagram. Sure I’ll give you a few minutes to scramble onto my account to see who I follow and make your own assumptions. In the dream he asked if I had been doing kegel exercises, because it felt like my vagina was performing oral sex on his dick. Again, WOW. NTS: Must start doing kegel exercises.

Anyway, I’m sure I’m not the only person that has had dreams so vivid they wake up with blue balls … err … blue labias? But sometimes, they’re so legit I actually orgasm. I am so fucking serious. I know this, because I’m usually half awake when it happens and fully wake up immediately after. So basically what I’m trying to say is I’m able to cum without a partner, nor do I need to give myself a helping hand. Tell me this has happened to you before? Better yet, does anyone know how to control it, so that you can make yourself orgasm on demand? Either way, I think this is pretty awesome.

Now if only I could have some real sex, so I could orgasm in real life.

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