#humpday

Feb 21, 2018
2 min

“Put on fo yo city hoe!”

It astonishes me that it is now 2018, and people are still butt-hurt when their sex tapes or nudes are leaked. We got intelligent humanoid robots and self-driving cars, yet people still haven’t learned their lesson when it comes to sending a photo of your privates to someone that slid in your dm’s only two days ago. In the event you are a person of dignity and self-respect that has no idea what I’m referring to, a clip of Blac Chyna performing what I think is supposed to be o

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dearabi

Jul 23, 2014
2 min

Just a Heads Up.

Ever wonder what’s going on in a woman’s head while she’s giving head? Here, I’ll take the guess work away. Worry: Shit, did I turn off the flat iron? Milk, eggs, kale, brown rice, ground turkey, almond butter, spinach, garlic. Damn, I’m missing something. Oh fuck, I better book L.A. before flights go up. Ever see that meme comparing a woman’s mind to an internet page with 1,893 tabs open? The only way it could be more accurate is if it had 1,893,245 tabs open. We over think.

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dearabi

Feb 27, 2014
2 min

Spoiled – TBT 02.22.12

Sometimes me and my friends play this game. We ask random questions like, “Murder, fuck, or marry?” “Would you rather?” “Have you ever?” or “What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?” I always feel bad answering the last one, because … well … I’ve never actually had bad sex. I feel like by admitting it, I just wished myself an eternity of bad sex, but it’s the truth. I’ve had “not so great” sex, and then sex that never really happened, but “bad” sex? Never. And as of lately, I’ve

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dearabi

Dec 18, 2013
2 min

Sleeping Booty – WBW 12.21.11

I always taught myself to never waste a hard dick. So regardless of what time it was, if there was a boner tapping me from behind I always managed to find the strength to assist in making it go away. As long as I’m conscious, we sexing. Because Lord knows I’d never be able to forgive myself if your dick broke the next day and I turned it down the night before. Blasphemy! Unfortunately, I’ve come to find out that when it comes to sex on demand it’s a one-way street. Over pulle

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dearabi

Oct 2, 2013
1 min

If It Doesn’t Get All Over The Place, It Doesn’t Belong In Your Face.

When controversy about the remarks announcer Brent Musburger made about Katherine Webb during the BCS National Championship game hit the news, I understood why. The broad is STUNNING. Carl’s Jr. capitalized on her beauty with this witty commercial below. #carlsjr #commercial #humpday #katherinewebb

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dearabi

Oct 2, 2013
2 min

Pillow Talk.

In Whose Line Is It Anyway? I talk about being a good cheerleader for my man in the bedroom. However, you need two people to have a conversation. Although women are usually the more vocal ones in a relationship (surprise, surprise), every now and then we do actually care about what you have to say. Especially when it involves us being naked. Below is list of my favorite words of encouragement, and terms of endearment during sex. 1. “_____ bitch,” or “Bitch, _____” You know w

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dearabi

Aug 21, 2013
2 min

“I Know You’re Watching Over Me, But I Don’t Want Your Sweater Watching Me!”

Before passing, Gail requested that all her friends go through her closet and keep whatever they wanted. Although awkward at first, then depressing second, the process became uplifting as I remembered the memories we shared where she wore a specific dress or shirt. I came away with four pairs of shoes (God bless her for being a size 6!), a Giants jersey that surprisingly fits perfectly, a Niners tee (the only one I own), a Giants jacket (the same one she wore on my 30th birth

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dearabi

Aug 7, 2013
2 min

The Finisher.

I have a confession to make: I masturbated to you last night. This is a milestone in my newfound born-again virgin life, because unlike the other guys I’ve thought about while touching myself, you were able to make me finish. So congratulations you sexy motherfucker you. Because it takes a very “unique” kind of man to make me successfully masturbate without the assistance of LubeTube. I’ve attempted to double click the mouse to two other men in the past few months, all to no

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dearabi

Jun 12, 2013
2 min

Fuck What You Heard.

I never really noticed the way men sounded during sex until I fucked this one guy that made a funny noise whenever he would cum. It was a combination of a panting sound and a hiccup, and I wanted to laugh every single time he did it. Ever since then, I became more keen on paying attention to noises in the bedroom that weren’t coming out of my own mouth, and it got me wondering if women like men who are loud in bed just as much as men like women who are. My absolute favorite p

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dearabi

Mar 6, 2013
3 min

Rip The Runway.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, me being an ex go-go dancer should come as no surprise to you. For those who haven’t, it’s true. Back when I used to be hot and sexy, and people didn’t even know I knew how to read, I used to wear furry boots and flip my hair around half naked to music. And let me tell you – that shit was awesome. But this isn’t a story about go-go dancing. It’s a story about the time I gave myself a bikini wax. Everytime I tell this story to someon

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dearabi

Feb 27, 2013
3 min

Do For Sex.

We’ve already come to the consensus that people will do some crazy, not to mention dumb ass shit for LOVE. I’ve personally drove an hour just to drop off a pillow for a dog, didn’t study for a midterm just to spend time with my dude (still passed btw), and flaked on my friends birthday party all in the name of crazy stupid love. Twitter rants, looking like a complete ass in front of your friends, and calling in sick at work – I’ve seen it all. But what about the things we do

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dearabi

Feb 2, 2013
1 min

Weekend Round-Up.

In case you missed it the first time, check out this past weeks posts below! And don’t forget to follow GATNB on Instagram here! First and Last (Hump-Day). I once heard the saying, “The only thing better than having sex, is having sex with someone new.” Now what kind of fucked up shit is that? The truth, that’s what. Girls Are A Girls Best Friend. I’ve come to the realization that one of the reasons I don’t have a boyfriend, is because I have so many boy friends. DON’T Blam

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dearabi

Jan 29, 2013
2 min

Don’t Blame It On The Alcohol.

It’s come to my attention, that there are some lightweight “rapey” sounding songs out there. I first noticed this when Tipsy by T-Pain came out. In it he says: “Now baby girl I ain’t tryin’ to get you drunk I’m just tryin’ to get you tipsy, enough And I know that you wouldn’t do what you do Unless you get tipsy, enough” Oh good. Now that we’ve established that you don’t want to get me wasted, but just inebriated enough to do something I wouldn’t do sober it’s all good. Make t

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dearabi

May 30, 2012
2 min

Fuck, Love. – Humpday Post

Sometimes I wonder if God was a disgruntled ex of mine in another life, because I swear he did a number when he created me. I can only imagine the amusement on his face that fine day in September when he thought, “Oh I know, let’s create a hopeless romantic … with an insatiable libido“. NOW HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? I’ll tell you how fucked up it is. It’s so fucked up that I can’t even masturbate unless I’m envisioning someone in particular that I know in “real life” (would it h

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dearabi

May 9, 2012
2 min

Tie’m Out

I did it. I’ve succumbed into the anomaly better known as 50 Shades of Grey. Sixteen chapters in, and three pairs of panties later, I finally have enough of an opinion to write about a topic I’ve been meaning to explore for some time now – bondage. Not some super duper S&M shit either, just the mere act of not having your hands free to do as you please. I’ve actually never consciously participated in it. I know, weird right? However, I’ve had a few similar experiences that in

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dearabi

May 2, 2012
2 min

riDICKulous

I knew I was going to write about penis this coming Wednesday not only because it was hump-day, but because ever since 12:30pm today I’ve had penis on the brain non-fucking-stop. No, seriously. It went like this: Facebook, penis, Meebo, penis, marketing research, penis, recruiting party booking, penis, blogging, penis, confirm the private room of Lucky Strike, penis, more writing, penis, bathroom, penis, pinball … wait no, no pinball just penis, Balance Bar, penis, scan some

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Because It’s Always Good to Have Goals – Humpday Post

dearabi

Apr 25, 2012
2 min

Because It’s Always Good to Have Goals – Humpday Post

On previous humpdays, I’ve written about the things I would never do or wouldn’t be too excited about trying out in the bedroom. Today, I want to talk about three things I would love to try, but due to physical fails, cannot. 1) Stand up sex. Yeah, exactly what I said. You know, dudes behind you while you’re bent forward hunched over the kitchen table. Or even better, standing straight up with one leg hooked over his arm as your rammed against the wall. I’ve had standing sex

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dearabi

Apr 11, 2012
2 min

All Cried Out – HumpDay Post

Remember that one guy I used to write about who would fuck me so long and so hard I would go into anabolic shock? Well, he used to also get me as dry as the Mojave. It sounds crazy, but that’s what happens when you’ve cum the life out of you. I’m not too fond of a man spitting on my hoo-haw (hey it doesn’t spit on you either), so the obvious solution was lube. Another possibility would’ve been to of course just stop fucking for five fucking minutes, so I could rehydrate but I

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dearabi

Apr 4, 2012
2 min

Bottoms Up – Humpday Post

I believe that everyone has a “go-to” position or cheap/cheat move. It’s the position where once hit, an orgasm is pretty much automatic. Therefore, it’s usually performed at “last-call” before the lights go on and everyone has to go home – or in other words when a motherfucker wants to go to bed already. After having participated in an array of Cirque du Soliel type stretches and positions I know without a doubt what my “cheap/cheat move” is. Obviously, I know what makes me

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dearabi

Mar 21, 2012
2 min

Ride the Crimson Tide

It’s Wednesday. If you frequent my blog, then you should already know. For the rest of you, this is the last time I’m warning you to read at your own risk as hump-day discretion is advised. Especially when we’re dealing with a subject as sticky *ahem* as having a threesome with Aunt-Flo. “Young guys are afraid of women’s bodies. ‘My girlfriend’s having her period, what do I do?’ Fuck her in her period hole, you idiot. What’s the dilemma? I don’t give a shit. If you’re having

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