top of page
RoseElephant copy.jpg

All Cried Out – HumpDay Post

Remember that one guy I used to write about who would fuck me so long and so hard I would go into anabolic shock? Well, he used to also get me as dry as the Mojave. It sounds crazy, but that’s what happens when you’ve cum the life out of you. I’m not too fond of a man spitting on my hoo-haw (hey it doesn’t spit on you either), so the obvious solution was lube. Another possibility would’ve been to of course just stop fucking for five fucking minutes, so I could rehydrate but I mean …

… …. …

Yeah right lol.

So there I was in the “Fuck, I hope my mom doesn’t see me” section of Walgreens checking out what life had to offer when my ex-boyfriends aunt walks in instead. I quickly move to the right of the lube and condoms as she says “hi” only to realize I was then standing in front of the pregnancy tests. AWESOME. Anyway, I decide to try KY’s Touch Massage that doubles as massage oil, as well as cools and warms to touch. Cool, I fucks with massages.

When the time comes we’re just both really curious to see if it actually warms up as advertised. I put a little in my hand, and he tells me to put some on his dick. But after maybe 20 seconds of nothing (have I ever told you I have NO patience … and I hate waitin … n*gga get your ass in here and let’s ri-i-i-i-i-ide) I’m over it and give him head instead. And for the first time in dick sucking history I’m disgusted. Because the lube tastes like … like … I dunno, like I don’t want to suck dick anymore lol. He wants to taste it (God bless his empathy), so I let him lick the tip of my finger. He immediately gets up to wash his dick, and we proceed to hubba-hubba sans the KY.

You would think they’d make some more fellatio friendly lube, and they actually do. But it’s safe to say I won’t be using it again anytime soon. I was never too fond of it, plus he was the only man that fucked me inside out like that (not at all to say I haven’t had good sex with anyone else. definitely not the case). But at least I now know my vagina can take a beating without crying.

3 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


It's my Friday morning ritual. This routine is healthy. It's peaceful, it's comforting. I unroll my mat by the door, because it gets hot. But mostly, I don't trust people. I put my phone on DND, and p

Sex'n w/ the Oldies.

Whenever I take a stroll down memory lane and read old sex blogs I think two things: Wow, I can't believe I wrote that and Wow, I can't believe I used to have sex like that Over glasses of rose amongs

Fuck My Life. No, Really.

"I think my vagina is broken," I said. "You are not broken. It happens," she replied. There are a few reasons why I haven't posted my infamous $250 sex toy review yet and sadly, one of the reasons is


bottom of page