top of page
RoseElephant copy.jpg

Just a Heads Up.

Updated: Mar 2, 2022

Ever wonder what’s going on in a woman’s head while she’s giving head? Here, I’ll take the guess work away.

  1. Worry: Shit, did I turn off the flat iron? Milk, eggs, kale, brown rice, ground turkey, almond butter, spinach, garlic. Damn, I’m missing something. Oh fuck, I better book L.A. before flights go up. Ever see that meme comparing a woman’s mind to an internet page with 1,893 tabs open? The only way it could be more accurate is if it had 1,893,245 tabs open. We over think. Hey, don’t judge me us! Just sit back and relax knowing that your dick is in our mouth, even though other things may be in our head.

  2. Game of Thrones: I can’t motherfucking believe they beheaded Ned Starks. King Joffrey, that little shit. Don’t let me see you in the streets son! You or your brotherfucker mother. John Snow doe. Wassup with you? John Snow’s brother doe. Wassup with you too? See, this is the reason I can’t watch anymore television series, or like any other sports. I get way too emotionally invested in them. The other day I went to my girlfriends, boyfriends bar and all I could think of was how much the dude sitting across from me looked like Lord Baelish. 

  3. Complain: OMG I am so tired. Although I would totally kill for some cornbeefsilog right now. Lord, I’m gonna need a glass of water after this. Make that a big glass. I swear the shit I do for this dude. Jeez, is this fucker ever going to cum? Am I losing my touch? Dammit! I knew I should’ve let him go down on me that one time he tried. What was I thinking? Maybe I should just sit on his face right now. 

  4. Enjoy the moment: Mmm, your dick feels so good. It’s so fucking big, and hard. I can’t wait until you fuck me after this. I love taking your balls in my mouth. I love running my tongue up and down your dick. How do you want me to suck your dick? What else can I do to make you feel good? I hope you're enjoying this, because I am. See? We’re not so bad. These are actual things that run through our minds while sucking your dick. We are pleased when you’re pleased. I even know a girl that came by simply giving her boyfriend head. So fret not fellas. We may have 1,793,260 tabs in our brain open, but rest assured we’re good at multi-tasking.

22 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

DickStracted.

It's my Friday morning ritual. This routine is healthy. It's peaceful, it's comforting. I unroll my mat by the door, because it gets hot. But mostly, I don't trust people. I put my phone on DND, and p

Sex'n w/ the Oldies.

Whenever I take a stroll down memory lane and read old sex blogs I think two things: Wow, I can't believe I wrote that and Wow, I can't believe I used to have sex like that Over glasses of rose amongs

Fuck My Life. No, Really.

"I think my vagina is broken," I said. "You are not broken. It happens," she replied. There are a few reasons why I haven't posted my infamous $250 sex toy review yet and sadly, one of the reasons is

bottom of page