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Don’t Blame It On The Alcohol.

It’s come to my attention, that there are some lightweight “rapey” sounding songs out there. I first noticed this when Tipsy by T-Pain came out. In it he says:

“Now baby girl I ain’t tryin’ to get you drunk I’m just tryin’ to get you tipsy, enough And I know that you wouldn’t do what you do Unless you get tipsy, enough”

Oh good. Now that we’ve established that you don’t want to get me wasted, but just inebriated enough to do something I wouldn’t do sober it’s all good. Make that a double! Perhaps the most recent exhibit of this type of douchebaggery is Miguel’s How Many Drinks where he asks:

“How many drinks would it take you to leave with me? Yeah, you look good and I got money But I don’t wanna waste my time Back of my mind I’m hopin you say two or three”

Well damn. Tell ’em how you really feel Miguel. I mean, I know this is usually the underlying motive, but I can totally imagine your creepy ass tipping my glass up as I’m drinking, while staring at your watch. My bad, do you have somewhere important to go after you rape me?

But if you want to take it way back to the origin of “rapey” songs, we have to mention the Christmas anthem Baby It’s Cold Outside.

“So really I better scurry Beautiful please don’t hurry Well maybe just a half a drink more Put some records on while I pour The neighbors might think Baby it’s bad out there Say.. what’s in this drink?”

Holy shit. Now I’m not saying it’s original composer Frank Loesser is a rapist, I’m just saying he’s rape-ish.

So what’s my point with all of this? Well, other than ladies CONTROL YOUR LIQUOR and don’t go to a bar alone, I’ve come to the realization that no matter how shit-face I’ve ever been, I’ve never done anything wasted that I haven’t already thought of doing sober. Unless I’m unconscious and immobile (which has only happened twice too many times btw), I’ve still been able to believe it or not, make conscious decisions even if I couldn’t stand straight. Obviously, everyone has their own thresholds when it comes to alcohol. However, I think for some people it’s just a scapegoat. In my case, Jamie (no ginger) had it right when he said:

“Ay she say she usually don’t But I know that she front Cause shawty know what she want But she don’t wanna seem like she easy I ain’t saying what you wont do But you know we probably gonna do What you been feeninn deep inside Don’t lie now”

While I’d do or say things under the influence that I’d normally keep to myself sober, I’d be one of the last people to pull the “I’m sorry, I was drunk card.” If I grab your dick drunk, more than likely it’s because I already thought of grabbing it sober.

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