This is not a “sexy” humpday post, but it’s a real one. Considering men like to pretend women don’t take shits and ladies don’t like to talk about it – maybe too real. I was sitting shotty in heavy traffic when my girl’s stomach started hurting. She began squirming in her seat, and rolled down the windows because she started to sweat. I looked at the road ahead of us in horror at the long line of brake lights and sympathized. I knew the deadly stages of shitting yourself, I h

It astonishes me that it is now 2018, and people are still butt-hurt when their sex tapes or nudes are leaked. We got intelligent humanoid robots and self-driving cars, yet people still haven’t learned their lesson when it comes to sending a photo of your privates to someone that slid in your dm’s only two days ago. In the event you are a person of dignity and self-respect that has no idea what I’m referring to, a clip of Blac Chyna performing what I think is supposed to be o

Quality over quantity definitely applies to sex. While I can still count my sexual partners on 2 , errr 3 hands, I can definitely say that the quality of the sex made up for it. Surprised I haven’t written about this before, but here are my  Top 3 fucks and the reasons why they made the list. 3. Mr. Big: Again, Mr. Big wasn’t big. He’s probably what most would call average. But he was a good fuck, because he was a FUN fuck. He liked to talk dirty, sexy, and he was never shy a

Continued from Heart and Soul Pt I He woke up to the familiar feeling of his girlfriend’s hand rubbing him, his dick already fully erect. Asides from obvious reasons, this was a good sign. The clock in the distance read 3:45am. He got on top of her and slowly pulled his sweater over her head. Staring at her beautiful body, but vulnerable eyes he almost didn’t know what to do next. Should I stop? Should I hug her? Should I fuck her? Should I put her sweater back on? But she ma

She didn’t snap out of auto-drive until she opened the front door, and even then she couldn’t remember ever taking out her keys. That’s because he jumped up to greet her the second he heard the car pull into the driveway. He knew about the horrible day she was having, of course he did. He was the first person she called as soon she she heard the news, her words barely comprehendible through the painful sobs he could still vividly hear. He opened the door and she collapsed int

I recalled the last time I did, and vaguely remember having too many drinks and too little patience. I ended up giving him shower head, then heading to the bedroom and getting his sheets all wet even wetter during sex. It definitely wasn’t a bad consolation prize. The thing about shower sex is it’s a double-edged sword. Sure it can be wet and wild, but it also leaves you pruney. While I’ve never had “bad” shower sex, I can definitely say porn dun lied to me! Here are the pros

There was one time in my entire life where I actually felt like a “man”. It wasn’t when I was watching the game on my couch by myself guzzling a beer in one hand and eating a sandwich with the other. It wasn’t even when I was checking out the amazing rack the girl at the MAC counter had. And it definitely wasn’t the time I pulled an all-nighter playing GTA San Andreas. I remember coming back from vacation with ‘him” who we’ll call Ross to protect the innocent. I remember feel

I never really noticed the way men sounded during sex until I fucked this one guy that made a funny noise whenever he would cum. It was a combination of a panting sound and a hiccup, and I wanted to laugh every single time he did it. Ever since then, I became more keen on paying attention to noises in the bedroom that weren’t coming out of my own mouth, and it got me wondering if women like men who are loud in bed just as much as men like women who are. My absolute favorite p

#nationalmasturbationmonth #safesex #sex

In case you missed it the first time, check out this past weeks posts below! And don’t forget to follow GATNB on Instagram here and Facebook here! Last Everything. Then you get to a certain age, and realize that someone will have always been there before you. You may not even be someone’s first wife or husband at this point. But it’s also at this point where you realize that his firsts are irrelevant. When you’re older, it’s all about “lasts”. Trust Your Struggle. I experien

My friend mentioned the Tenga Egg last week, and I was completely lost. So he had me YouTube the commercial, and I must say this is ingenious. Fellas, it’s the perfect size for traveling and easy to clean up! Your socks will thank you. I almost wish I had a boyfriend just so I can buy this for him lol. #sex #tengaegg #toys

I consider myself a healthy woman, my doctor even said so. I eat well, and stay active. I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life, rarely smoke weed, and don’t do drugs. With the exception of drinking on the weekends, I’m clean. But I still consider myself an addict. And he is my drug. The thing about drugs is, they don’t stuff themselves down your throat. Coke doesn’t walk itself into your nose. A needle doesn’t fly into your veins. YOU make the decision. YOU have the control

I knew I was going to write about penis this coming Wednesday not only because it was hump-day, but because ever since 12:30pm today I’ve had penis on the brain non-fucking-stop. No, seriously. It went like this: Facebook, penis, Meebo, penis, marketing research, penis, recruiting party booking, penis, blogging, penis, confirm the private room of Lucky Strike, penis, more writing, penis, bathroom, penis, pinball … wait no, no pinball just penis, Balance Bar, penis, scan some

In The New Booty-Call Contract, I take a humorous approach on the light-hearted topic of booty-calls. But upon reading this post on Until I Get Married, I realized that I was subconsciously touching upon the more serious underlying issue of intimacy. As I’ve mentioned before, Jozen is one of my absolute favorite bloggers. Except he has this way of making me feel horrible about myself lol. If you read between the lines of my booty-call post, you’ll see the actual legitimacy in