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How Dirty Girls Get Clean.


In the shower this morning I realized two things: 1) I should probably shave my legs, 2) it’s been a while since I’ve had sex, and 3) it’s been even longer since I’ve had shower sex. 

I recalled the last time I did, and vaguely remember having too many drinks and too little patience. I ended up giving him shower head, then heading to the bedroom and getting his sheets all wet even wetter during sex. It definitely wasn’t a bad consolation prize. 

The thing about shower sex is it’s a double-edged sword. Sure it can be wet and wild, but it also leaves you pruney. While I’ve never had “bad” shower sex, I can definitely say porn dun lied to me! Here are the pros and cons of shower sex from what I’ve experienced.

  1. Location + It’s not sex dangling 70 feet over a waterfall, but a change of scenery is always a nice and adds a little spice (and splash) to the bedroom. Mostly because you’re actually in the bathroom. 

  2. Location – Unless you’re balling outta control, you’re more than likely banging in a standard shower/tub combo filled halfway with your roommates hair products and loofahs. Thus, there won’t be too much room to do too much for too long without getting a cramp, or accidentally knocking an economy sized bottle of Herbal Essence over.

  3. H20 + The addition of water is great. For starters, it just makes everything look sexier (unless you have mascara on). It provides lube (kinda) and most of all, makes everything dirty, clean! I’ll suck a penis through a straw with the water running, and actually let a guy go down on me without being so self-conscious about it. 

  4. H20 – While water is sexy, it’s also risky. Shit is dangerous son! You could slip and get a fucking concussion. There is also the possibility of choking on it. If you don’t believe me, try sucking a guys balls with the water running on full pressure over you. It’s hard to breathe with water up your nose and testicles in your mouth. 

All in all, I am totally for shower sex. But depending on how much time you have or the mood your in, it can definitely be a hassle. Besides, there’s a fucking drought in California. 

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