While me and my girls agree that ambition is one of the sexiest traits a man can have, we can still shamelessly appreciate some blatant, testosterone fueled chauvinism. Below are a few examples of “manly-man” practices that make us want to be manhandled. Ladies, if you agree or have something to add feel free to do so!
Oorah: We already know I love a man in uniform. Add in a little world saving, and some yelling and it just ups the ante. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s basically a “spirited cry most commonly used to respond to a verbal greeting or as an expression of enthusiasm.” There’s always been something about the Marine chant “Oohrah” that makes me “Hoorah!” in my panties. I’m sure Jake Gyllenhal’s buffed, naked ass in Jarhead had a little something to do with it. Whatever it is, I salute you!
Stepping: Ladies if you’ve never watched Stomp the Yard I highly suggest you Netflix that bitch, pour yourself a glass of wine, and grab your vibrator. Sweaty men grunting, yelling, stomping shit, and slapping themselves? Sounds like soft porn to me! I remember attending a girlfriends wedding a few years back and her husband and some is his fraternity brothers started strolling around her in the middle of the dance floor. I’m surprised the honeymoon didn’t start right then and there.
Football Huddles: I may not enjoy nor even understand football, but I for damn sure can appreciate a good pre-game chant. The louder, and more testosterone driven the better. It reminds me of those war speeches in movies like Mel Gibson gave in Braveheart before battle. A few words of encouragement to get you juiced and ready to FUCK. SHIT. UP. I can dig it. Below is Drew Brees’s famous pre-game chant. The words are actually pretty corny. But you know what? They could be yelling out the lyrics to Mary Had A Little Lamb for all I care. It would still sound hot.
Haka: Please excuse me for not differentiating the types of Polynesian hakas, but for this purpose only a haka is a haka is a haka aka some fine men being loud, rowdy, and intimidating. Check please! Here’s a clip of a few members of the All Blacks, New Zealands rugby team. I found more traditional clips of the haka but dudes abs up front make me wanna go down under.
P.S. When I got done with this list I came to the realization that buff men + yelling + slapping themselves = raging whoremones.