top of page
RoseElephant copy.jpg

Fuck My Life. No, Really.

"I think my vagina is broken," I said.

"You are not broken. It happens," she replied.

There are a few reasons why I haven't posted my infamous $250 sex toy review yet and sadly, one of the reasons is because my vagina is broken. Heartbroken that is. I get it now when men say, "It was just sex, she meant nothing to me". I've found that when there are emotions involved, it makes things complicated. If there are emotions involved it can make the good sex you have with a booty-call mind-blowing sex with someone you actually have feelings for.

Unfortunately, it has the same adverse effects when things aren't going well. Since the break up, I haven't felt attracted or turned on by anyone. OK, maybe The Duke in Bridgerton and Chris Evans, but not enough to put the Lelo to use. Mostly, masturbation has been functional. A means to go to sleep or wake up and start my day. While it feels good, I haven't masturbated strictly for pleasure for the past ... the past ... I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW LONG IT'S BEEN *insert dying emoji here*.


I'm hoping it's just quarantine and not being able to actually see, what more be around handsome men combined with not making bad decisions at happy hour. Whatever it is, I hope it changes soon. How canI have a sex and relationships blog when I have neither? I'm no longer getting fucked, I'm just FUCKED.

166 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


It's my Friday morning ritual. This routine is healthy. It's peaceful, it's comforting. I unroll my mat by the door, because it gets hot. But mostly, I don't trust people. I put my phone on DND, and p

Sex'n w/ the Oldies.

Whenever I take a stroll down memory lane and read old sex blogs I think two things: Wow, I can't believe I wrote that and Wow, I can't believe I used to have sex like that Over glasses of rose amongs


Yeah sex is great, but have you ever had a man buy you tickets to a Giants game even though you were acting like an asshole, because you were having a bad week? I suppose what's even more great is hav


bottom of page