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Drive me Crazy

Car sex also known as homeless sex, is not for the faint of heart … or people taller than 5’10” … or those who drive a two-door … or anyone over the age of 20. For everyone else though, it can be as exciting as a close call in the final lap of the Indy 500. The thing about car sex, despite banging your head on the “Oh shit bar,” and getting a cramp in your right leg is it’s spontaneous. Below is a compilation of some of my friends most memorable car sex stories. And by memorable, it doesn’t necessarily mean GOOD. As usual, feel free to add your own!

Miata Mandy “Me and my dude were horny as fuck but still lived at home, so we decided to drive over to the baseball park by my house to get it in. For some odd reason there were people walking around the field even though it was dark out so we scratched that idea and headed back to the car. Meanwhile my whoremones are jumping like a disco. My car is tiny but I’m getting desperate and figured I can reverse cowgirl in the passenger seat with the door open. NOPE. It was too cold and uncomfortable for homie to get his shit up. At this point I’m about to cry. Instead, we get in the car and he goes down on me. He’s in shotty, I’m in driver laid across both seats with one leg over the E-brake and his head in between my thighs. I get off, he wipes his mouth, and then we see the two people who were cock-blocking us at the baseball field leave. OF COURSE.”

Teamwork Tina “I was (drunk) driving home with my boo thang after one crazy night at the club.  We were both too many drinks past horny, and I don’t know how I managed to not wrap my car around a telephone pole while he was fingering me from the passenger seat.  Three seconds later, his dick was out of his pants.  Like the good girl that I am,  I wrap my tiny hand around it but I want nothing more than to taste it.  He comes up with a very ingenious (or very stupid) idea.  The entire 20 minute ride home was multi-tasking at it’s finest hour.  Picture this: My right foot on the gas pedal, my head in his lap, his dick in my mouth, his left hand on the steering wheel, right hand in my hair.  I heard him muffle a “Slow down, babe.”  but to which he was referring to, I’ll never know. The both of us somehow made it back safe enough to spend the next two hours going through three condoms.”

Dumpster Dina “I was visiting my boyfriend at the time in his hometown.  He still lived at home with his parents and we were desperate to bone.  We hopped in his two-door Toyota Supra and drove around trying to find a discrete, secluded place.  After driving around for what felt like 30 minutes (was really only like 10 minutes but we were horny,) we parked in a residential area where the street was a court.  We had no choice but to park under a streetlight and it was so bright we blocked out the windows with whatever we could find, pushed the back seat down and got to it.  It was quickly getting super hot and heavy that the windows were fogging up.  Suddenly, there were bright lights flashing into the car.  The cops had caught us.  In a panic, I started grabbing whatever clothing was near and tried to put myself together as the cops were beeping their horn.  I put my shirt on without my bra because it was too much work and jeans on without my panties because I couldn’t find them.  We were both panting as the cop asked for our IDs.  He walked away with a smirk on his face. WE WERE SO GUILTY.  I was dying and having a mini panic attack in the car as they did a check on us.  The cop walked back over to us, handed us our IDs and just warned us.  According to him, a lot of people go to that area to dump garbage right next to the forest like opening right next to where we parked.  NEVER.  AGAIN… in that area.”

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