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“As Long As I Have A Face, You’ll Always Have A Place to Sit”

Men are constantly emphasizing the importance of fellatio in a relationship as if it’s a dealbreaker of some sort, and for some men it is. But as someone who’s admitted here that she rather give than receive, even I believe that this is no place for double standards. So if you want it to go dowwwn (BASEMENT) – you better not be afraid to go down yourself.

Let me preface by saying that I get it. Vaginas are – for lack of better words – icky. They’re like a hybrid roast-beef sea cucumber of some sort. Furthermore, I also understand that because it’s a … hmm … “hole” that it takes more effort to keep clean as opposed to an appendage. But for the sake of argument, let’s just elaborate on the subject under the premise that we are referring to the most virginal of vaginas. The kind that smells like maple syrup and tastes like tres leches cake.

Now if it’s a one-night stand, the first time hooking up, or you’re just booty-calls you’re excused. I understand it’s a very intimate affair, and an acquired taste, pun always intended. But a man that doesn’t go down on you EVER?! As in ever in life?! If that ain’t a precursor to how selfish he will be in your relationship then I don’t know what is!

Unless the man has some traumatic story of how a killer, fire-breathing vagina chased him around the playground when he was little, then there should be no excuse for any man to not go down on his woman on her birthday, mother’s day, or when she gets promoted at the very least.

Just to clarify, I’m not encouraging you do things you detest, or make you feel uncomfortable. And I’m definitely not telling you to go on a p*ssy eating rampage (have I ever mentioned how much I hate that word, as vulgar as I get on here?). All I’m saying, don’t expect it unless you’re willing to give it as well. As with most things relationship based, it’s about compromise. The position is called “69,” not “68″ or “34.5”.

#humpdaywednesdays #humpday

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