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The Porn Twin

I was perusing one of my favorite websites one day (YouJizz, you already know. I swear any more shout-outs and they’ll start sponsoring my website), and came across a rather interesting discovery. Pun most definitely intended.

I’m not too picky when it comes to choosing porn, long as both parties (or three or thirteen) are remotely good looking. So I was ecstatic to find one of a hot chick, who was partnered up with a dude whose physique rivaled that of the greek God Adonis.

“Ooh this is gonna be a good one,” I thought as I grabbed my headphones. But then in between balls slapping and titties bouncing I caught a glimpse of the mans face and my heart sank just as quickly as my libido did.

HOLY SHIT I WAS DATING A PORN STAR.

A bajillion thoughts ran through my mind. OMG I need to get tested ASAP. I knew this dude threw the dick too well! I feel so dirty! OMG his penis was in her vagina before it was in mine? Where the fuck does he find time to do this? When did he make his last movie? SO THAT’S WHERE HE WAS LAST WEEK WHEN HE SAID HE COULDN’T MAKE IT TO THE GAME!

After a few minutes of rewinding, scrutinizing, and googling, I realized it wasn’t my dude afterall. My dude simply had a “porn twin,” which aptly became one of his more popular nic-names. And when the shock had subsided, the relief I felt then turned into excitement. I was fucking someone who resembled my favorite male pornstar, so essentially, my fantasy wasn’t too far from my reality and neither was the sex – holla! For those of you who aren’t dating a porn twin, I highly recommend it. Shit works out perfectly.

That is … until you and the porn twin stop seeing each other. Because if you’re like me, then the only way you can get off while masturbating is to actually imagine yourself having intercourse with that person. Because even when I have pretend sex, I still can’t separate it from real emotions. So I end up with one hand down my pants, horny, but then angry thinking about what happened.

So lesson learned, sometimes it’s better to keep the fantasy as far away from your reality. Otherwise, you wind up like me and just end up having angry sex. With yourself.

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