It pains me when I see women settle for less than they deserve. It breaks my heart when they make excuses for it, and it kills me when they end up finding fault in themselves as a result. One of my favorites quotes continues to be,"Never settle for less than you deserve, or you'll end up getting even less than you settled for".
If you ordered a 20-piece omakase and got supermarket sushi, you would have the waiter take it back to the kitchen. If you were promised a promotion after hitting a goal at work and didn't get it, you would find another job. Shit, if you requested some intricate nail art and got a mediocre french tip, you'd probably ask for a refund or at the very least rip them on social media! So why would you stay in a toxic relationship that has you questioning your self-worth and crying every night when you've called out people for way less? Yet here you are taking what you can get knowing it will never be what you actually want, when all you need is someone who at the very least is honest with you.
The answer is feelings and emotions *shakes fist in the air*. I'm not judging you, I WAS YOU. That's why I know every single move your fuck dude is going to make, and all the excuses you're going to give him. From the "Well you know, it's OK because ..." and "But if he didn't care at all then he wouldn't ...," it's like I wrote the damn script myself.
I remember dating someone who in my heart I knew was sketch. Even when I suspected someone else I put the thought past me. Once I made my neighbor accompany me as I attempted to surprise him at his house to see if he was really sick or with another woman. I drove past his house and felt my stomach begin to turn the moment I saw his car in the driveway. I never got out the car, but that wasn't the point. Regardless of if he had a girl over or not, I shouldn't have been with someone who makes me feel the need to kidnap my neighbor and stalk his place.
Told you I had my fair share of the "crazies". I told you I get it, because I too took what I could get, which was often just enough to keep me there yet never enough to make me feel like enough. Because even that sliver of a fantasy seemed better than nothing at all. So I'm not going to tell you to stop seeing him, because we both know you're not going to do that just yet. But if you're going to take the bare minimum, take it for what it is and don't make excuses for him. And be honest with yourself since he's obviously lying to you.