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Pearl Jam.

I just spent 15 minutes searching for an old post about “swallowing and spitting” to reference in today’s blog, and then realized I never wrote one. What the hell? I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore.

Anyway, I was looking for it, because today’s post is all about semen. More so, my fondness for it. I know it smells like Clorox, and can get messy. But a little sperm ain’t never hurt nobody and is nothing a warm washcloth can’t take care of.

Sperm, cum, jizz, spunk, nut, splooge, man juice. Whatever you want to call it, I want it all over me. Now hold your fucking horses, and put your dick back in your pants. This doesn’t mean any dude can just run up on me and do a drive by shooting. Nor does it mean I’m a fan of bukake (ew). It means that IF I’m already having sex with you,  don’t be alarmed if I massage my boobs with your semen after you nut on my chest. Goddamn, I’m romantic. 

I remember one time a man I was exclusively dating came on my ass (realizing a lot of men like to do this. i’m hoping it’s because they really like my ass, and not because they dislike my face). As he was finishing, I rubbed his nut on my cheek, and I felt his knees buckle immediately after. “Dude, you’re like a porn star!” he yelped like a fourth grader seeing boobies for the first time. Umm, thanks? If I was still in college, I’d probably take that as a compliment. Today, not so much. It was a mere reflex, and we weren’t in a rush to clean up.

Lucky for me, a good friend of mine shares the same affinity for lathering in “love juice”.  While we’re not looking for the male equivalent of a squirter, we do like a nice healthy amount of jizz. And I quote, “I like it in my hands so when I spread my fingers it looks like spiderwebs”. THE FUCK?! Leave it to one of my friends to make me feel less of a freak.

I really don’t know what it is about semen that makes me want to hop on deck. Perhaps, it’s like a liquid high-five affirming a job well done. Whatever it is, I just know that a pearl necklace is my favorite accessory to wear to bed.

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