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  • dearabi

No What-What in the Butt.

What I want to know is what the fuck is up with men and their infatuation with sticking it in the booty-hole?! You guys do realize that poop comes out of there right? I just. I mean, I can’t. I don’t understand.

OK, I get that it could definitely feel good, perhaps even better, and that you can ejaculate in there condom-less without fearing a mini-you running around a few years later. But is it THAT serious? Have the vaginas you’ve inhabited in the past been that vast? It’s not like you can’t cum or haven’t came in other ways right?

I’ve actually had a few girlfriends tell me that taking it up the ass feels AMAZING. I then proceeded to look at them like I just saw a donkey pour me a cup of coffee. “No, really. You just gotta relax,” they’d say. BITCH, IF I RELAX MY ASSHOLE I WILL TAKE A SHIT. 

In my entire life, I think I’ve only attempted anal sex twice. Both with two men who I was in love with, and both times to no avail. *Kanye shrug* It’s the thought that counts though right? No? Fine. I’m not saying I would never try it. With the right man, and the right amount of alcohol (not to mention lube) I’m sure I’d be down. You gotta change it up every now and then of course! And who  knows, hell might freeze over and I may very well enjoy it. At the very least, I can say I tried and definitely DON’T enjoy it.

I just truly believe some places were meant to be exits only. I also believe that there should be some sort of compromise. So until I think of a male equivalent to taking it up the ass (for those who aren’t catchers of course) you’re just going to have to sit tight. Yeah, real tight.


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