This year, I am thankful for those shady ass pilgrims. Without yall, we wouldn’t have an entire holiday dedicated to getting fat. I am also thankful for Chaser Pills, regardless of if they’re placebo or not – they work. Speaking of which, I am thankful for my newfound tolerance for cognac. Hennessy and coke with two limes please. I am thankful for my mothers genes, for without them the cute dude at the liquor store on 20th and Irving would’ve never carded me. I am thankful for Magnum condoms … and the men that fit them. Especially the men that fit them. I am thankful to be surrounded by so many talented, and successful people. You guys inspire me to reach for the stars and crawl into a ball crying all at the same time. Most of all, I am thankful for literacy. If not for literacy, I wouldn’t have all of you lovely readers in my life. I wish more people read instead of talked. Lastly, I am thankful for satire. If you know what that is, then you’ll know why.
On a serious note though, have an AMAZING Thanksgiving everyone. Count your blessings, and show the people you got love for that you love them. Thank-you so, so much for your continuous support!