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A few weeks ago in this post I wrote about my inability to successfully masturbate due to my heart occasionally residing in my vagina. While the post still holds true, I’ve found that in dire times like these when I just can’t take it anymore and am on the verge of humping doorknobs – I call for the big guns, my last resort: girl on girl porn.

Now fellas, before you get excited let me get a few things straight. And I mean STRAIGHT.

NO I’m not lesbian/bi.

NO I’ve never kissed a girl, not even for fun.

NO I’m not lying, and

NO I’m not curious.

Having said that, when I don’t have a specific man to think about while playing with myself, I then turn to random women. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know that “The Porn Twin,” used to be my go-to on YouJizz, but ever since his real-life proxy and I stopped dating, I stopped cumming to his porn.

I’m one of those picky/crazy people that need both parties in a porn scene to be attractive. And more times than most, the female is going to be better looking than the male. Like I’ve said before, unless the naked man is laying on top of me, I’d rather see a naked woman any day. Women are beautiful creatures. So in a sense, it actually makes sense for me to watch lesbian porn. However, it only works under one strict condition: there needs to be some sort of simulated dick penetration i.e. a strap-on or double ended dildo. Otherwise, I end up just watching two chicks make out, giggle, and play with each others hair, bored, and still horny. Thus, reminding myself why I could never fuck a chick.

So once again fellas:

NO I’m still not bi-sexual – sorry. YES, I still like love the D, you’re welcome.

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