top of page
RoseElephant copy.jpg

Friends With Benefits

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s “humpday.” And while I’m trying to stay within the humpday tradition of writing about sex, I’ve decided to write about NOT having sex *gasp, why on Earth?!* I know, I know, but hear me out.

I have a homie who for the sake of him ever running for office, I will call “Rico”. He’s not one of my best friends, or even one of my closest friends, but he’s definitely one of my good friends. My good friend Rico is also tall and handsome. Not only is he tall and handsome, but he’s wise, has money, is absolutely hilarious – and from what I heard, is packin like a military wife. He’s one of those friends who’d make a good wedding date if I wasn’t seeing anybody at the time.

Yet – I am not even the least bit attracted to him. And I have no idea why.

We’ve went out to a nice, maybe even romantic dinner before. We’ve gotten drunk together. I’ve dutty wined against his crotch to dancehall. I’ve sat on his lap at a strip club (no dance). We’ve even partied together in L.A., and yall know what happens on vacation supposedly stays on vacation. But still, nothing. Not even so much as a drunk make-out session.

I do not look at Rico as a brother, and with all the sexual advances (although playful most of the time lol) he’s given me, I know he doesn’t look at me like a sister either. And forgive me for sounding like Gods gift to Earth, but I’m pretty sure that if I gave him the green light he wouldn’t hesitate to drive right into my vagina. Not that he’s losing sleep over any of this. As persistent as he is about the idea of  blowing my back out, he has a full roster of chicks and is in no need of a pinch-hitter.

Time and time again my friends will ask me why I don’t just fuck Rico. And during my droughts (like this one time I didn’t have sex for a year and *cringe* seven months), I’d ask myself the same exact question. Granted we’ve already established that I can’t handle casual sex but he’d definitely make an ideal booty-call candidate.

Perhaps, some people just aren’t meant to hook up or are just meant to stay friends. I find Rico attractive, but I am not attracted to him. That may be another difference between men and women, because I don’t know too many males that could keep it platonic with someone they find attractive – especially while they’re inebriated. Maybe it’s more fun to joke around about it. Maybe there’s just no chemistry. Maybe, my vagina is mad at me. Or maybe I’m just waiting for someone to get married so I can bring him to the wedding haaaah.

I guess I’ll never really know. What I do know, is despite the long, dry summer I’m about to have, I benefit way more from him by JUST being friends.

1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

It's my Friday morning ritual. This routine is healthy. It's peaceful, it's comforting. I unroll my mat by the door, because it gets hot. But mostly, I don't trust people. I put my phone on DND, and p

Whenever I take a stroll down memory lane and read old sex blogs I think two things: Wow, I can't believe I wrote that and Wow, I can't believe I used to have sex like that Over glasses of rose amongs

"I think my vagina is broken," I said. "You are not broken. It happens," she replied. There are a few reasons why I haven't posted my infamous $250 sex toy review yet and sadly, one of the reasons is

bottom of page