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  • dearabi

Feel the Vibration.

It's been years since I've owned a vibrator. The last one I owned was the infamous rabbit popularized by Sex And The City and gifted from my very best friend - what a gal. One of my girls sent me a text raving about her new toy, and it sent me down a rabbit hole of well - rabbits amongst other things. While nothing really shocked me, I did have a few questions.

Like, do I really want one with a sucking function? Obviously, it would feel amazing if it actually replicated the human tongue. But I just imagine the toy malfunctioning and my clit getting stuck inside of it. Followed by swelling or bruising, and an embarrassing trip to the ER. It's a bad, romantic comedy just waiting to happen.

My next question is, are more than three vibrating settings necessary? It's either slow, medium, or fast. What could possibly be the need for a vibrator with 23-settings? Are we baking something? Will it defrost? I'm so confused yet intrigued at the same time.

I also noticed that they have a G-spot and rabbit combo as well as a G-spot and thrusting combo. However, they don't have a G-spot rabbit combo that also has a thrusting function. HOW HAS THIS NOT BEEN INVENTED YET? Why aren't one of those 23 vibration settings titled "thrust?"

Lastly, I would like to know why some of these go for damn near $300? For that much I expect cuddling and breakfast in the morning. People of the world, I need answers, because fucking yourself shouldn't be this difficult.


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What am I?

Intimacy. Licking your brain, while massaging mine. Exploring you inside and out. Becoming one then two then one again. Feeling you. Tasting you. Loving you. Lingerie and tailored suits, sundresses an

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