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Eye of the Cougar

Not sure if ur aware of it, but there’s this little movie out called New Moon. It spawned from this so-called phenomenon called Twilight, which is about vampires, and wolves, and love – oh my! But perhaps just as popular as the series itself, is (one of the castmembers) 17 year-old Taylor Latuners newfound, testosterone-filled, adolescently ripped BUFFNESS that has cougars far and wide out on the prowl. And can u blame ’em?

Currently, 5 of my friends are all dating men/boys younger than them, with the newest member of CFC (Cougars for a Cause) being 28 and her cub being 23 – leaving a 5 year age gap, the same as me and my ex. Now seeing as the recently wedded Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are 10 years apart, 5 doesn’t seem so bad anymore (at least that’s what I tell myself).

However, the irony of it all is when I was younger I dated older men. 7 years older at one point to be exact. When I was in college, I would never give the time of day to my friends little brother and his friends because they were 19 when I was 21. And God forbid I even considered dating a junior when I was a senior in high school. That would’ve been social suicide! He’s 16? I’m 17? He might as well have been an embryo. Yet nowadays, I consider 26-29 to be pretty much the same age. I always thought it was funny how the older people get – the slimmer the age gap seems to be. For instance; 18 and 23 sounds so much worse than 32 and 37.

But perhaps nobody knows this best than my very own mother, who be pullin ’em like Gabrielle Solis aka Eva Longoria in Desperate Housewives. At 48 she has said that the oldest she’d go for was 44. Yes I’ll give u a few seconds to read that over again, it’s coo. Reason being, she wants to be taken care of and not financially ‘cuz although my mama ain’t rich she holds her own. But basically, she ain’t tryna give her man no damn sponge baths and shit. Lately, Ive been getting approached by much younger guys as well, but the reason I gave the last one a chance was because I just felt more comfortable around him than with his older male counterparts. This is a general statement as well. ‘Cuz if I don’t need to act like an adult, I won’t. I want a cotton-candy machine and bouncey-house at my next birthday party for crying out loud! If a 33-year old man who was interested in me knew this, I feel like he’d adopt me as a kid instead of have me as a girlfriend.

However, it’s still no wonder some women are hesitant in engaging in cougariffic relationships. Off bat, the man is looked at as a pimp and the woman like a … well … a cougar! Usually, (not always) the dude gets the good end of the deal: props from his boys, an experienced woman, stability, a trophy wife, a house to have sex in instead of a dorm room, etc. etc. Whereas all the cougar would get from her man is: stamina.

Unless of course – the cougar sinks her claws into true love. Which although is rare, has and does happen. I’d definitely like my next relationship to be with someone at least 25+ so I don’t feel like such a cradle robber when I talk about New Edition or Saturday morning cartoons. But in a world where love is so hard to find, I say cherish it with whomever u do find it with. Whether they’re 5 years older or 5 years younger. I personally think most men aren’t ready to get married until their 30s when they’ve dun sowed their wild oats already and hairline starts to recede. But like I said, there’s always that exception to every rule.

Unfortunately, there is no exception to the statutory rape rule. So Team Jacob cougars, no matter how u look at it, Taylor Lauter is still jail bait until Feb. 11, 2010. I know age ain’t nothin but a number but yall seen what happened to R. Kelly.

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