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  • dearabi

Diced Pineapples.

The other week I grabbed a Rexroth with Miss Mar at Local Edition, and caught up with life. How was New York? How was London? How was San Diego? Where do you work now? He did what? How about them Niners? What are your plans for Christmas? Where are you going for New Years? How’s your drink? WHO ARE YOU FUCKING NOWADAYS?

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about sports, politics, or religion. We’re going to end up conversing about sex somewhere down the line. That day we got to talking about cunnilingus, and our aversion towards it. We both agreed that sucking a dick isn’t as for lack of better words – gross. And we just couldn’t fathom how a man could tolerate, what more actually like the taste of pussy. Surely even virgin vagina has a distinctive taste right?

We decided to find out for ourselves. I’m sorry to have to ruin your Filipina-Mexican girl on girl fantasy, but we didn’t eat each other out in the middle of cocktails. We texted our male friends to find out. The three I asked replied with the following:

“It’s like licking sweat. If someone’s sweat stinks then they probably got some stinky pussy. It’s not bad with clean girls. Girls that smoke have a different taste”

“It doesn’t really taste like anything. Maybe saliva if you don’t have bad breath”

And of course this:

“Doesn’t taste like much at all if it’s clean. We can test it out and I can give you a play by play if you’d like. You can ask me as many questions WHILE doing it”

Silly guy. Doesn’t he know it’s rude to talk with your mouth full?

Apparently, the consensus is it doesn’t taste like anything if you’re clean. I’m not convinced, but I’m still going to load up on pineapple in the mean time.

Now, what if you’re a texture eater?

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