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Decent Proposal.

Sundays have always been for brunch. But instead of bottomless mimosas in last night’s clubbing clothes, it’s now cold brew with coconut milk followed by cast iron pan shopping. “My God, have we lost our edge?” were my exact thoughts as I squealed in delight at a muffin tin on the clearance shelf at Sur la Table. The answer was clearly “No” as we continued our girl date at Rach’s house to literally Netflix and chill. We started to watch an episode of Hot Girls Wanted: Turned On, that immediately led to conversations about selling your underwear online, polyamory and getting paid for sex. 

The main question was, “Would you do it?” As in, would we sleep with someone for $1,000,000 although we were all in relationships. Funny enough, none of us said NO. Instead, we rationalized our decisions using the following:

1. Who is the other person? Do I know them? Relation and degrees of separation play a big part in my decision. How does he look? It doesn’t make it any less unethical, but it definitely makes it more bearable especially if it’s some Michael B Jordan doppleganger that I would bang for free if I was single. The negative aspect to this is while it makes it easier for the person who is going to have sex, it makes it harder for their significant other. 

2. What kind of situation are we in? Do I own a lone shark $500k? Are me and my husband jobless with a baby on the way? Am I about to lose my house? Do I need a lifesaving operation? How desperate am I? To be completely honest, I don’t need to be at the very bottom of my luck to consider this because it’s also dependent on the next factor …

2. How much money we talking? Is it an insane amount that we’d be stupid to say “no” to regardless of the fact we’re doing pretty well already? Is it enough to make me pay for my man’s haircut and drop him off at old girl’s house and wait outside the door with a bottle of Gatorade and towels for when they’re done? Originally, $1,000,000 was at stake and we considered it. However, as soon as it was upped to $5,000,000 I said “ABSOLUTELY” with no hesitation. 

Funny enough, the real test isn’t so much making the decision and then sticking to it. I  know people that hook up with people they don’t necessarily want to all the time. It’s called alcohol and bad decisions. While we’ve discussed important issues leading up to and during the tryst, the most important part is what happens after. Will I be able to forget about it? Will I be able to get over it? Will I be able to look at my boyfriend/husband the same way again? Will he be able to look at me the same way? Hopefully, the answer will be YES. And if it isn’t and we start arguing, hopefully we can just stuff each other’s mouths with dirty money to shut each other up.

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