Dear Abi – Double Trouble
I received these 2 emails and I swear – SOMETHING must be in the air.
I’ve known this guy for a couple years now and he’s like the older bro I’ve always wanted. We got that solid, look-past-the-flaws type of friendship, so everything was all fine and dandy until I realized I started to think about him as more than just a friend. I ended up telling him my feelings and we were totally cool after. Yeah, what’s the problem then right? Well lately he’s been more… touchy. Like arm around me, lean his head on me, play with my hair kind of stuff. And then for the first time he kissed me (just on the top of my head, but it still happened!). I’m sure as hell not complaining but it’s driving me crazy! I thought my emotions were back in check, but all this new kind of attention is making me think “like that” again. Should I confront him? Ignore it and enjoy? Am I just overanalyzing?
Your email is totally making me giggle and bringing me back to my school girl crush days when you don’t know whether a guy likes u back or not. Seems to me that if anything he’s just as curious as u are to see what would happen if you cross that friendship line. If he only totally saw u in that “Little sister I always wanted” way and if yall are as tight as u said, he should’ve had no problem going past the possibilty of hurting ur feelings by being HONEST and saying, “I’m sorry I don’t feel u in that way.” But seems to me that ever since u told him u were interested – he’s been responding, even in the littlest ways. If it makes u feel better, confront him but more than likely he’s gonna tell u what I’m about to tell u anyway: Just go with the flow. DON’T TAKE THE SAME CRAZY PILLS I BE OVERDOSING ON SOMETIMES. It just ruins things. What matters is ur enjoying each others company and having fun. I don’t think ur overnalyzing right now, but u have the potential to in the future. U can’t control the way u feel but u can control the way u act, remember that! One things for sure though, when something is real and natural it will just happen. U won’t have to question urself, “Does he like me? Does he want to be more than my friend? Am I wasting my time?” It will be simple and just happen.
Lalalove the blog!
So last night I was chilling with my best guy friend at his place, usual stuff. Next thing you know, he’s pulling me in for a kiss (twas good LOL). Anyway, we try hanging out tonight to “unawkward” the situation but he ends up swooping in again. & I guess I’ve always been kinda attracted to him, so I just give in. Now he keeps saying he’s doesn’t know how he feels about me even though he’s the one with his hands up my shirt and shit. What you think?
Damn u ladies and ur “best friends” lol! It’s ur best friend so u should know him way more than me. But if he’s blatantly making passes at u physically – yet being shifty when it comes to actually letting u know what the deal is between yall two, while I don’t think ur gettin played, I do think he’s playing with ur emotions. But if ur having fun (which it sounds like u are :o), hey, long as u can be an adult about it and just take it for what it is and not EXPECT anything then continue to have ur fun. However, if u think it will affect ur friendship (IF it’s something u feel is worth keeping) then I would avoid having these sexy time confrontations. UNLESS u don’t mind ur bff status turning into ftf status. Yah u know – “friends that fuck.” Which in that case – handle that! But when dealing with someone u’ve been good friends with, there’s always room for error and always room to catch feelings.