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Best You Ever Had – Humpday Post

“Tell me this is ain’t the best dick you’ve had in your life,” he kinda asked.

She moaned in ecstasy, as he thrusted his more than adequate cock deep inside of her. Any deeper and it would’ve came out of her mouth she thought. It was damn good dick. Actually, it was amazing dick. But the best dick? Ever in life? That it was not. He slid himself out of her, tapped his head on her clit a few times causing her to practically go into convulsions, then once again shoved it seeminglessly back inside of her.

“Tell me this ain’t the best dick you’ve ever had,” he said once more. It was no longer a question. Actually, it was never a question.

Then, for a split second confetti fell from the sky, and a techni-colored griffin flew by and winked at her. She was about to come, so she did what any smart woman would do: she lied.

“YES. YES. It’s the best fucking dick I’ve ever had.”

I mean. What did you expect her to say? No? While “You’re penis is absolutely gorgeous, and rather huge. And holy shit the sex is so amazing I go momentarily blind each time I orgasm. But it’s really not the best dick I’ve ever had. Second best for sure though,” would’ve been the truth, it kinda takes away from the moment don’t you think?

We’d all like to think we are the best at what we do, especially in the bedroom. With men, I’ve noticed their egos grow along with their boners causing them to think that they’re the motherfucking Don Juan of dick – and in some cases they are. However, there can only be one “best dick you’ve ever had.” I’ve unfortunately lied where I’ve lied before. “Yes, I came,” and “Yes, this is your pussy” are things I’ve said before that I didn’t mean. But I would never volunteer information and lie about it.

Fellas, I can’t say whether or not your woman is lying to you when she agrees that you are the best dick/sex/tongue/lover/etc. she’s ever had, but I will tell you this: If you are, she’ll definitely let you (and everyone within a two block radius) know.

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