For someone who writes a blog, I must admit I’m not very good with words. My go-to is to say what people need to hear as opposed to what they want to hear, so it’s hard for me to be honest and tactful at the same time. It’s easy to find the silver lining in bleak situations, but silver linings only distract you from the rain with puddles and rainbows – they don’t stop the storm or make your umbrella stronger.
As negative as I may seem to be, I truly admire people who can have a positive outlook in the midst of even the darkest hours. And although I poke fun of hippie-dippy people who recite affirmations and keep crystals in their pockets, I truly wish I could be like them. Sometimes it’s so hard for me to be positive it actually feels like a physical impairment.
I swear I’m not a cynic – I’m a realist. The difference is I don’t think everything happens for a negative reason, or any reason for that matter. I think shit just happens and you have to accept it. Everyone deals with adversity differently. Some want to be coddled while some want to be slapped, and as a friend I will do whatever you want me to do. But I will never tell you “It’s all part of a plan”. Never.
Ultimately, I believe that we should all pay closer attention to other people’s coping mechanisms and try to be more empathetic towards them – myself included. I have a tendency to always need to say something and I wind up coming off as insensitive. Other times I know that nothing I say will make it better, so I say nothing at all and still come off as being insensitive. I hope that I can make up for the silence with my ability to listen instead.
I may not be the friend who will have encouraging words to say if you quit your job in the middle of a recession, but I will be the friend who spruce’s up your resume and forwards you every job lead I know of. And I will never tell you that “Things happen for a reason” if your chemotherapy doesn’t work, but I will go wig shopping with you and spark up a fat one until the both of us can’t feel our face, or the pain.
Editors Note: Shout out to Emily McDowell studio for her cute aesthetics, and endearing empathy cards. I’ve been meaning to do a post about the topic at hand, and her cards inspired me to finally write it.