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Things my Mom Says

  1. About 2 weeks ago my mom drops me off and as I’m walking towards my front gate she rolls down the window, screams, “Peace out,” and then skee-skirts away. WTF?

  2. Me and my mom are getting ready to go out for lunch and I’m wearing her Chicago Bulls sweater I borrowed the night before. She throws me a plain grey sweater and goes, “Wear this instead.” I ask why? She replies, “You might get jumped.” WTF?

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