As usual, my first full week back at work from my nice, long, relaxing Hawaii vacation was as CRUCIAL as expected. So I woke up this morning hating life a little and feeling like an ungrateful brat. But the past few days have been tougher than usual. As I was taking my unbearably routine elevator ride up to my floor the other day, I sighed as its four walls closed in on me like a coffin and asked myself, “What’s it gonna take for you to GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE?”
The above was written on 9/16 and it is now nearly a month later. And every single day of this past month I’ve been blogging away from my desk at the 9-5 in sheer AGONY. And as I type this very blog, T-Mobile is calling me to tell me that my bill is late (again) and I can hear my co-workers to the left discussing the demise of the corporation I work for. *cues Kanye’s All Falls Down*
So I ask myself once again, “What’s it gonna take for you to GET UP, GET OUT, AND DO SOMETHING?”
Today is now November fucking 10th. Jesus H. Christ. And I think, I’ve finally found the answer to the question above. I once read in a book by Lauren Conrad (DON’T JUDGE MEEEE! LOL) that she – I mean the “character” in the book moved from her small town to L.A. to feel “uncomfortable“. Well my idea of uncomfortable is something slightly short of what I’m feeling right now. It’s dark and depressing with an extra helping of self-sabotage on the side. And usually when a person is feeling like this, they have poor judgment. They don’t believe in themselves, and never seem to realize just how strong they are.
Back in September, as I was walking to the MUNI stop in the morning I saw a post-it stuck on the wall of Walgreens. It’s the one I took a picture of above. And it was all I needed to feel better that day, and part of what I need to feel better right now. While believing in yourself is most important, remember that even if you don’t – someone else does. A lot of people do. I wanted to take the post-it and stick it in my wallet for days like today but I left it there for the next person. I hope it brightened up their day as much as mine. And I hope it brightens up yours too.