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The Dehydration Is Real.

Speaking of the thirst …

If you’re as obsessed with Instagram as much as I am, then you’ll know that finding the perfect caption to go with your picture is serious fucking business. But sometimes, the comments left by other people steal the show. Look at the comments section of any IG picture showcasing an attractive female (or male) in even the slightest provacative pose, and I guarantee absolute fuckery can be found. Below, are a few of my favorites.

“I wish I was that yoga mat” (In response to a picture of Johnny Sins doing yoga) I just thought this was funny, because it’s something I would totally say – just not on his Instagram. It really isn’t even that bad compared to some of the dignity murdering comments I’ve seen from some of the prettiest females on IG.

“You are so handsome! You should open ur direct pics” Why? So you can send him dozens of pictures of your cleavage or show him the shrine you made of him that rests above your bed? I’m pretty sure there’s a reason this ANTM contestant has his direct pics option private.

“I got something tan for you” (Hint: It wasn’t bronzer) The funny part is this IG belongs to a Grade A thirst trap. However, the specific picture that provoked this comment was pretty tame/innocent. Her caption just said she missed having a tan. Desert thirsty.

“You are so boom and prtty. It’s like WOW” I’m sorry. What? Is that even still English? Boom and prtty and WOW? I forget whose page I found this on, but damn she must’ve been so fly she had this dude speaking in tongues.

“I’d suck a fart out that booty” Who said chivalry was dead? God, I wish you could’ve seen my face when I read this. I want to be so mad at this. So, so mad. But you gotta give it up to a motherfucker that would go to such great lengths to service the booty. I can’t tell if I want to slap this guy or shake his hand. All I know is I’m never kissing him, that’s for sure. Bravo sir. Bravo.

“You got that look like you could suck a dick through a straw. Let’s orgasm together?” I mean really? The best part was this caption was left on one of MY pictures. I liked the picture too, but never did I think it deserved such poetry. It wasn’t even left on the picture where I’m actually sipping a drink through a straw. Let me share my thought process with you when I read that shit:

Thank you? The fucking nerve! Even if it may be true, you don’t fucking say that shit. (After looking at his account) What a shame, he was cute too.

But the best comment of them all was one I received in response to it. “You should’ve replied, “You must have a small dick, if I can suck it through a straw”” LMAO.

What’s the thirstiest comment you’ve ever read on Instagram?


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