top of page
RoseElephant copy.jpg

The Ands.

During one of my therapy sessions, Angela asked me how I was feeling. I told her I'd been feeling the "ands". It wasn't until I started seeing her that I discovered the ands. For me, the ands is the ability to feel two opposing things simultaneously and be OK with it. Replacing the word "but" with "and" is a simple yet effective CBT technique that allows you to feel two things without one negating the other. Up until then it wasn't a part of my healing process.

Like many, I associated break ups with heart break. I thought the more in love you were with someone, the worse the heartache was. I knew the difference between regular sad and depression sad. For years, depression only had one face for me: pale and gaunt. I barely ate or slept. I called in from work and emotionally cut myself. I was obsessed with feeling horrible. Then, I discovered that you can be heartbroken and ok at the same time. So don't get it twisted.

I cry until I can't breathe and laugh until I can't breathe.

I blame myself and build myself.

I grieve and am grateful.

I am heartbroken and whole.

I am hurting and I am healing.

I am learning and unlearning.

I am devastated and I will be OK.

I used to think that the amount of suffering you went through after a break up was directly related to how much you loved the person. It only made sense right? So when me and my ex broke-up and I wasn't immediately on suicide watch, I questioned how genuine my love was for him for a split second. That's when I realized I loved him more than any other man ever in life. AND I love myself more.

110 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Lonely, but Not Alone (Written 01.13.21)

Don't tell me not to feel lonely. You don't know what lonely is. I've spent many moons dancing by myself, and solo sunsets staring into my own eyes. Yet, I'm still here scratching and clawing and flou


bottom of page