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  • dearabi

Talk Shit, Get Hit!

This morning I was walking from the subway to work and noticed this chick along the way. Not my type, but attractive nevertheless. What stuck out the most though, was her hair. It looked like she was going to prom. And I couldn’t help but notice how rainy and windy it was and think: “I bet this bitch thought she was real cute when she left her house this morning with her hair all did … with no fucking umbrella and Typhoon Ketsana outside.”

And then I checked myself.

Like omg “Abi, why the fuck do u even care?” The thing is: I DON’T. But to see something annoying or entertaining and immediately respond to it with disapproval is like second nature to me lol. Don’t get it twisted, I give credit where it’s due as well. But sadly, it’s just so much more fun to talk shit sometimes! For shame!

Regardless of the fact that I talk “petty” shit, usually about complete strangers – it’s still talking shit and ultimately bad vibes. So in an attempt to cut down (notice how I didn’t say stop cold turkey? lmao) I’ve decided to acknowledge all the things that pisses me off in the most insignificant way, pour some liquor for their memory, and then dead that shit.

So for now …

If u wear a full set of makeup, booty shorts, and a baby-tee tied into a half shirt to the gym? If u wear flip-flops in the pouring rain when the 10 day forecast called for thunderstorms all week and don’t live in Hawaii? If ur a size 10 and insist on borrowing my clothes? If ur my size and insist on borrowing my clothes before coppin ur own? If ur kankles or thankles or back boobs are waving to me? If u use 3 syllable words when a “simple” word would be more appropriate? If ur overrated? If ur an attention whore? If u dress like ur going to the club to a basketball game just so u can get into the “afterparty?” If ur toes look like they’re tryna escape from ur shoes and ur toenails are causing sparks on the cement? If u have the entire MAC counter on ur face but haven’t heard of a blending brush? If ur wearing Ed Hardy or Affliction? Consider today ur lucky day!

I’m sure I’ll continue to talk shit when it’s appropriate (like u catch ur man in bed with ur sister, which actually calls for a beat down) but today I vow to not sweat the petty things … or at least not say it outloud … or at least not as frequent lol (sorry it’s just too hilarious NOT to share sometimes).

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