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Stoner Snacks – Flashback Friday 09.15.09

There comes a time in everyone’s young adult life where they become curious. They want to experience new things and see the world with “different” eyes. They want to experiment. They want – to smoke weed.

I am not a stoner. And in no way am I encouraging the youth to lather on that herbal essence, but if God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt … then a nice bowl of weedies ain’t too far behind! Drugs are bad! Bad I say! Buuut, if ur going to do them anyway I figured I’d help u out by suggesting some of the finest stoner snacks the world has to offer (if I’m missing ur favorite please do add it!).

Granted, when ur high as a kite almost everything tastes good. But I have gathered the following information with the help of only the most elite of my hydroponic connoiseur friends, so u know it’s guaranteed to stimulate the mind and enhance those tastebuds (once u get rid of the cotton mouth of course). Now without further adieu …

Trolli Peach-os and Apple-os as suggested by Digga Because peaches and apples are supposed to grow on trees and be healthy for u, this combination of gummy goodness is almost blasphemous. And when ur high, u can try to figure out how they “grew” apples and peaches into those perfect little “o’s”.

Rice Krispy Treats as inspired by Amir OK. Whoever invented this concoction must’ve been ‘Cuz only someone headlining the Up in Smoke tour would take the advice of 3 little elves and mix cereal with marshmallows to create this sweet simplicity. Home made is best, but I wouldn’t want ur high ass handling the oven.

Kettle Corn as suggested by Bad Aby and Kool-Aid If I were a man, I’d say all things sweet and salty are good for u. But I’m not. So instead, I’ll say not all things sweet and salty are are gross! Kettle corn by itself is already sheer awesomeness but pair it with some Kool-Aid (red flavor OF COURSE) and it’s kinda like the blessed sacrament.

Cereal (preferbly CoaCoa Pebbles) as suggested by Gran-daddy Purp himself – Bomb Beezy Cereal is kind of like the ultimate food. U can have it breakfast, lunch, OR dinner ‘cuz Lord knows that’s what I ate when I was either too broke to buy food in college or too lazy to cook period. So it’s only right to have this on the list, there’s just something about the sweet, unhealthy cereals that go so well with THC crystals. Just please remember to buy milk.

Ice-Cream as suggested by D Does the dairy wonder even need an explanation, as if it didn’t already solve all of the universes problems? And u may not think u can, but trust me, u’ll finish a gallon in NO TIME so don’t even think about grabbin one of those dinky little pints.

And lastly, my personal favorite Flaming Hot Cheetos w/ Cream Cheese Ebony and Ivory. Yin and Yang. Sonny and Cher. There’s just some things that aren’t quite the same without the other. I can honestly say that I’ve never tasted Flamin Hots until I tasted them with cream cheese. I don’t know a single product of public school system who did not feast on this beanery line classic during lunch in middle school or high school.

And just for kicks, my all time favorite YouTubes under the influence:

Death? That’s don’t even sound attracted!

I think … I think I’m Dead


P.S. Forget about “Dude Where’s My Car,” or even, Smoky and Craig. The biggest stoners of all time are obviously Scooby and Shaggy. Hellooooo. They never know what’s going on, smokes always coming outta their magical hippie van, they’re always paranoid, and DUHHH they always hungry!

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