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Smile Now, Cry Later.


“Genie, you’re free”

Robin Williams is one of the very few celebrities I’ve ever met. I was an employee at a toy store at the time, and he came in with whom I believe were his kids. He had a kind, humble aura, but I could tell by the way he smiled shyly that he didn’t want to be bothered. So instead of asking for a picture or autograph, I simply waved good-bye when he left.

It’s said that his house was the purple corner house in Seacliff that had bushes in the shape of dinosaurs in the front yard. I believed it, because it reminded me of his role in the movie Toys. I adored him in Jumanji, Hook and Aladdin, but my absolute favorite movie of his is What Dreams May Come. Coincidentally, it’s about soul mates, heaven, hell, and suicide. 

I really didn’t want to post anything regarding the death of Robin Williams. He was a private man, and I wanted to give him his peace. And although I respected him as an actor, I did not know him personally. He didn’t affect my daily life, and there are other things going on in the world and in my life. However, the news of his death all over my timeline brought up an underlying subject that I just couldn’t ignore: depression

Typically, the quintessential “depressed person” looks pale, unhealthy, tired, and sick even. Like they haven’t slept or ate in days, and gave up on their appearance. Stereotypically, a depressed person doesn’t go out. They don’t laugh. They alienate themselves, and hate everything. But depression looks different on everyone.

Depression can be a master of disguise. Sometimes it never even makes a public appearance. It smiles, tells jokes and loves to make people laugh. It consoles friends and gives great advice. It’s calm, and even logical. It drinks alcohol without being sloppy, and even twerks on the dance floor. It does laundry, and runs around the lake. It’s healthy and productive. Depression does not have to come from childhood abuse or a tragic accident. Matter fact, it can come out of nowhere. 

However, this very same type of depression can also be overbearing. It makes one truly believe they are worthless. That they are not good enough. It sleeps on the couch for weeks on end, because sleeping in silence alone with its thoughts is frightening. It can’t be around family. It has panic attacks in regards to certain thoughts, and anxiety driving down certain streets. It finds it impossible to think or see positive. It makes you feel crazy. While this depression would never, ever allow one to hurt themselves (or anyone else) physically, it can inflict emotional and mental scars that take even longer to heal. 

Depression might be different for everyone, but DEPRESSION IS REAL. One of the reasons I liked Robin Williams was because he was a crazy, foul-mouthed stand up comedian much different from his on screen persona. It just goes to show you that nothing is really as it seems. So never assume you know someone unless you know someone. And never, ever assume you’re alone


p.s. BuzzFeed may not be the greatest source of journalism or “news,” but this article holds truth that may shed some light on those with depression or curious about depression.

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