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Shit Bitches Love Pt. VIII

Eight?!?! Y’all still with me? Well, as long as bitches continue to love shit, I’ll be writing about it. Let’s get to it … 

Plants. When the fuck did everyone get a green thumb though? I thought this shit was

over when the succulent obsession died down, but nope, it was just the beginning. If you know me, then you know I’m just jealous of anyone that can keep a plant living for more than the drive home from the nursery. To this day, I have killed 6 succulents all because everyone kept saying that they were hard to kill. Challenge accepted bitches, I succumbed to the trend and bought my first 3 adult plants ever in life AND they’re still alive nearly 2 weeks later. Bitches love photosynthesis. 

Crystals. We won’t repeat this anywhere outside of this blog circle of trust, but when I was little I had a rock collection. I’ll give you 5 seconds to judge me, but that’s all. I used to frequent a toy store called Imaginarium that carried “intellectual toys” like science fair kits and … rocks. Some of these rocks included crystals. All they did was sit in a suede pouch with all my other rocks that I eventually threw away, because well – THEY WERE ROCKS. Now, crystals can help you relax. They can help with communication, and anxiety. They can bring you luck, protect you from bad juju, and give you patience. There is a “healing stone” for almost every ailment. I’m wondering if there’s one to make me stop being such a hater.


I absolutely wanted to purchase some crystals for the new apartment not too long ago. They’re pretty and it wouldn’t hurt to have some good vibes around at all times, but good vibes are only as good as you make them and like the homie said, “I see bitches buy crystal yet are assholes putting out bad energy themselves. Like, na a crystal is not gonna help you bro”. Bitches love rocks. 

Japan. It’s as if there’s a new hotspot to visit every season. At one point it was Thailand and Bali, then Santorini, then Cuba, and now Japan. It’s not like nobody’s ever visited these destinations before, there just seems to be an influx of people at a given country/city at a time. In the past 3 weeks, I’ve seen 3 different people on my feed in Japan and I have 2 more friends going next week. I, too hope to visit one day. In the mean time, I just hope someone brings me back some salt and camembert cookies. Bitches love Tokyo Milk Cheese Factory. 

Michael B. Jordan. I mean, what’s not to love? Bitches love Michael B. Jordan. That’s it. That’s all. 

Rodan & Fields. Raise your hand if you’ve felt personally victimized by someone selling Rodan & Fields products? I’M KIDDING, but you all know you’re thinking the same thing I’m thinking and you know someone who either sells or uses their products. And if I wasn’t such a paranoid hypochondriac I would be too, have you seen what they do for your lashes? They know what the fuck they’re doing, and I’m happy that people who don’t have a conventional 9-5 are able to make money this way. Honestly, I’m a fan mostly because the company is ran by 2 boss women.  Bitches love other bitches.  

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