Boyfriend-girlfriend. Parent-child. Friend-friend. Relationships are relationships. Regardless of who is involved, it’s based on the way two or more people interact and treat each other. To no surprise, my last “relationship” was a bad one.
It started out like most of my relationships, optimistic and full of excitement. We celebrated wins – big and small, and were constantly learning about each other. I was curious. I was invested. However, I began to notice that while my counterpart treated me seemingly well, it wasn’t the case for those around me. Our “honeymoon phase” lasted less than a year before I saw the relationship for what it truly was – a one way street.
My “partner” was the exact opposite of the definition. We didn’t work together, and I never felt understood or supported.I was constantly giving without receiving so much as common courtesy or respect in return, and those around me took notice. Needless to say, it was an abusive relationship. One that I endured for 2 years. Never in a million years did I think I’d be one of those women who tolerated that kind of blatant disrespect.
I sought out advice from a colleague of mine and even he said, “I see how they talk to you. You have to ask yourself if you really want to be here”. The worst part was I didn’t. And I hadn’t for a long time. I was just so comfortable and used to the manipulation that I had no idea how I was supposed to be treated. I thought that if I left the relationship instead of working through the rain, it would mean I was a failure.
I began to lock myself in conference rooms to cry, and got anxiety attacks so bad I broke down in tears on Sunday nights. “This is the last time” happened at least 5 more times. I was miserable. I was no longer excited about what I did, and no longer cared. The environment became toxic, but it wasn’t until I became toxic that I finally began to take the necessary though daunting steps to finally leave.
The journey was painful. I knew I deserved to be treated better, but I didn’t think I could do better. This was only exemplified when I was rejected over and over again, further solidifying the idea that I wasn’t good enough. Just when I thought I had found “the one” I was disappointed and was back to square one.
Until one day Square thought I was the one, along with my current employer.
I now type this from the desk of my new job. Where I sit (and sometimes stand, and even box) in a nurturing, encouraging environment. I work for with someone who respects me and values my opinions. I wake up in the morning in good spirits, and go to bed grateful. I haven’t complained, and actually feel happy. Recently someone asked me how I’ve been, and I replied “Great!” I’m sorry, come again? Maybe I’m not in love with my job, but I do love my job and I haven’t been able to say that in a long time.
Whether it involves buying a new car, picking out a new doctor, getting into a new relationship, or accepting a job offer – never settle and never, EVER accept being disrespected. Always know your worth … then add a few “k” to it plus a signing bonus.