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  • dearabi

QuaranTime.

It is now officially Day 40 of shelter in place (SIP), although technically Day 48 for me. I suppose it’s now appropriate to call whatever the fuck is going on “the new (but don’t forget temporary) normal”. While I never thought shit was a joke, I initially and naively rescheduled a March 14th dinner reservation to April 19th with an overzealous optimism. I’ve since cancelled it as well as the rest of my life for 2020. I also gave in and ordered some equipment for my work from home station aka my dining room table. If you can’t beat them, join them, and now panic ensues every time I have to eat dinner on my light grey couch. 

Some things have changed since the first day of SIP, and some things remain the same. While everyone is still adjusting, it’s also getting easier. People have found their stride and created routines, which is great, but also a little bittersweet.Information is constantly changing, because no one actually knows what the fuck is going on. Everyone is learning as we go along, and we are all just trying to do our best. It’s like we’re living in this weird purgatory, where we have to put our life on hold in order to actually live it. Unfortunately, time stops for no one. Not even Covid.

You see, time be hitting different under quarantine. You no longer have to commute, yet there seems to be even less hours in the day. Oddly, you’re working longer hours, because it’s harder to stay focused. I can’t even imagine how it is for people with kids. It’s as if time is suspended and you’re in limbo. This “extra” time, doesn’t really feel so extra – it feels sparing. The days pass by and no matter how creative you get, you still find yourself waking up to brush your teeth just to brush them once again at night. Most of the time, the in between is all a blur. The days are fast, but the progress is slow and I constantly wonder how much of my life am I wasting in quarantine?

The cruel part is THIS is what we’ve always wanted – just not the way we wanted it. People, therapist, friends, memes, THE WORLD has been telling us to stop and smell the roses. Now we have all the time to do so, and some people still aren’t smelling them or are tired of smelling them. Maybe some of us will never be content. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus (I really would’ve changed my name) said “Nothing is permanent except change”. I know first hand that even good change can be scary.

Everyone deals with things differently. Some people thrive in this type of situation. They bake, do yoga, make arts and crafts with the kids. While others cry, they gain weight, and binge watch Snowfall. Some do a combination of all these things on any given day. I have no answers. I don’t even really have a point or ending for this post. I’m just over here in limbo with the rest of y’all. I might as well make it fun and grab a rum punch while I’m here.

Editors note: It’s now Day 86 since this sat in my draft box for weeks.

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