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March Madness.

Day 1.

I never thought that I’d be writing a blog from my living room due to a “shelter in place” law prompted by a pandemic known as the Coronavirus. Yet here I am, WFH as most of the country is in an attempt to “slow the curve”. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Before the lockdown, I joked to myself envisioning a scene similar to Will Smith playing golf in an empty New York City in I am Legend. Except I’m laying down and soaking up the sun in an eerily empty Dolores Park. It’s like we are all living in a chapter of some weird dystopian book. 

Like, a really weird dystopian book. One where palettes of toilet paper are worth more than gold, and people are selling hand sanitizer in exchange for their souls. There’s a spike in gun and bidet sales – two things I never thought would be in the same sentence. Everyone has to stay at least six feet apart, or the odds will not be in your favor. Humans are acting erratic and participating in activities like reading, intimacy, silence, and patience. In this new world, museums, libraries, amusement parks, shopping malls, movie theaters, and clubs are closed. The canals of Venice are clear enough to see tiny fish swimming in it (imagine that, fish? in the water?!), and air pollution in China has dropped. Told you shit is weird.

Thankfully, I’ve always liked dystopian books. The truth is, I’ve been prepping for the zombie apocalypse for over a year now. I even bought plastic packets of water instead of jugs, because I figured it would be easier to carry while running away from the undead (your girl has a vivid imagination and ZERO upper body strength). Since I’m a paranoid-hypochondriac-planner, I started slowly stocking up on necessities and stopped going to crowded spaces for leisure the first week of March. I also learned the importance of washing your hands and covering your mouth when you cough when I was in elementary school.

Despite the shitshow outside, I’m feeling more calm than usual on the inside. I wouldn’t say I enjoy being confined to my apartment and I definitely don’t prefer it, but I’m absolutely fine with it. Matter fact, I’m chillin #bigflex #humblebrag. This isn’t because I’m in good health and not susceptible to the virus. It’s not even because I have MREs on deck. It’s because I enjoy time alone. I love the sound of silence. I relish deep, slow breaths. And I  still find beauty in nature I’ve already seen before. It’s because after years of trying and failing, I can now meditate in the middle of a burning building. It’s because I am grateful than a muthafucka and this has only made me feel more gratitude despite all the temporary inconveniences.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say  that the right mindset can cure cancer or anything like that,  but apparently it makes a huge difference during a pandemic. We all process things differently and there isn’t really a right or wrong way to feel about things right now. But there is a way to be informed and prepared without being hysteric. I was able to do this by finding stillness inside amidst the craziness outside.  I would still grab a gun before I grabbed a bunch of sage if some shit ever went down, but it’s that mindfulness that prevents me from living in fear until that time comes.

“How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?”~Lauryn Hill

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