I Wish my Arms was Long Enough to Hug you all at the Same Time
I’m often asked, “What’s ur type,” and while I tend to be drawn to a certain persona and steez I can honestly say I don’t have one specific type. My type – is FINE, or cute with enough jene se quois to make up for it. So in an attempt to clear up the assumptions and provide my female (and bakla) readers some eye-candy I wrote this post in honor of my favorite kinda mens. And as u can see, I do not discriminate.
The Intelligent Thug – Nas
“Whatever u choose, whatever u do, Make sure he a thug and intelligent too” Nas has and will always be a personal favorite of mine not only ‘cuz he’s fine but because he’s so open to everything, albeit underground or mainstream. He’s aware of social and political issues just as much as he’s up on game ’bout what’s happening on the corner. He takes it from the block to the boardroom – all in my fave attire, a crisp white tee, nice fitting jeans, and of course, classic Tims. And I will never, ever get over that sexy ass raspy voice of his.
Also, see Tupac Shakur
The Southern Gentleman – T.I.(P). “Why u keep sayin no when ur panties so wet?” akjsflajks;dfacajeriocmajfwplaroiwe.
That’s exactly how I feel when I hear the name T.I. Now imagine that times 69. Now that’s exactly how I felt when I was hand picked to take a pic with him upstairs in the VIP section of his meet and greet in Oakland. Anyone who knows me, is well aware of my of my T.I. infatuation and has probably seen my wall shrine of him at work (real professional, I know). There’s just something bout his southern twang combined with his boyish smile that makes me need clean up on aisle 3. He can def have whatever he likes with me, shiiit.
Also, see Andre 3000 (when he’s not wearin knickers and lime green wigs, i’m talkin Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik ;o)
The Baller – Allen Iverson “We stay fly, no lie, and u know this – BALLIN!!!”
Safe to say that the infamous A.I. was one of the first to bring the hood to the NBA. But despite the haters, the tats, and the signature braids, no one could deny his skills – and the females could never deny his looks.
Also, see Anthony Roberson
The Import – Robert Pattinson “And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…”
Yall were starting to think I din’t love me some white boys huh? The disheveled hotness known as Robert Pattinson is my current obsession, along with everything else Twilight. Best known for his portrayal of the fictional embodiment of vampire perfection, he took America by storm having women forgetting about Romeo, and Prince Charming, and instead hoping, wishing, and praying for their own Edward Cullen to come.
Also, see Orlando Bloom
The Immortal – Johnny Depp
And honestly, someone with the longevity of Depp’s doesn’t even need a witty subtitle. (OK fine u got me, I just couldn’t think of one.) “The Immortal,” isn’t a vampire on this list. It’s the man who gets even more handsome as the years go by. He doesn’t get old, he gets wise. Amidst a sea of overnight celebrities half his age, it’s Johnny Depp’s poster who remains by my bedside.
Also, see George Clooney
The California Kid – Matthew Mcconaughey Mcconaugheyyyy! I couldn’t think of a witty subtitle but that’s perfect. ‘Cuz really, when u got a surfer dude with curly blonde locks and a body like THAT glistening in the sun, who cares if he’s witty? Matter fact, who cares if he can talk? Just sit over there with ur shirt off, thanks. Get me a drink while ur at it. And make sure to flex while serving it to me.
Also, see Josh Holloway
The Nerd – Shia LaBeouf
It wasn’t until I saw him being interviewed on some late night show about how he was arrested at Walgreens for “loitering,” that I saw the potential in Shia. I’ve always had a soft spot for the “square,” and never picked on nerds ‘cuz I knew one day I’d need help in advanced chemistry. And maybe it took being next to someone as hot as Megan Fox to bring his hotness out but whatever it is, it worked. Unerneath that”nice guy” geeky demeanor is a certified hunk waiting to bust out. Besides, we all know the nerd always ends up with the hot chick at tne end anyway.
Also, see Peter Parker
The Rockstar – Tommy Lee
“I party like a rockstar … fuck like a porn star”
Yall prolly didn’t see this one coming, but I’ve been had an affinity for rock stars – post one piece leather jumpsuits and the flammable teased hair though. And what better rock star to crush on than the rock star of all rock stars – Tommy fuckin Lee?! Sure he looks like he been round the block and hit the pipe one too many times, and sure I wouldn’t fuck him with 2 condoms and a diaphram but one can watch him perform on the drums and fantasize right? And I’m pretty sure they invented the term “Rock out with ur cock out,” specifically for him ;o) U know u watched that video too, don’t lie!
Also, see Dave Navarro
The “Hypebeast” – Pharrell Williams
“I’m a nice dude with some nice dreams”
I played around with a few labels for Pharrell like “The Innovator,” and even, “The Weirdo,” but ultimately settled with “Hypebeast,” ‘cuz well … look at him! And while I’m usually not attracted to these types of dudes ‘cuz they end up caring more about their kicks than me and refuse to wear anything not “Huf,” or “limited edition,” Pharrell’s talent and creativity make him the exception. Plus, we could borrow each others skinny jeans.
Also, see ok … I really can’t think of any other cute musical pioneer. I would say Ryan Leslie’s talent parrallels Pharrell’s except he reminds me of the very first alien Will Smith meets that Tommy Lee Jones shoots in MIB 1.
The Pretty Boy – Will Lemay
“You could be rollin with a thug, instead u with this sweet scrub lookin for some love”?
U know this dude. The guy who’s almost prettier than u are. The guy who’s beautiful and knows it so uses it to his advantage. U want to hate him so bad and be the “one who got away,” except every time u try to give him a piece of ur mind, u end up giving him a piece of ass ‘cuz the dude just got it like that. But don’t worry ‘cuz u’ll eventually realize he’s not as hot on the inside and get tired of waiting for HIM to get ready when yall go out.
Also, see Tyson Beckford
The CEO – Christian Bale
Or any straight-edged wallstreet lookin mufucka that’s tall and looks good in a suit. He comes from money but because he graduated with (fill in impressive major of choice) at (fill in impressive college of choice) he made even more money and u get to play pretty woman when ur his arm candy at company parties and award banquets. U usually have nothing to talk about with him ‘cuz he’s creme brulee and ur jello so yall meet halfway penna cotta style.
Also, see Gavin Newsom the mayor of San Francisco
And the runners up are …
The NuYorican – Tony Sunshine
Not the best example, but the NuYorican dudes I’m referring to can’t be found on the internet or the big screen. They’re the dudes with a nice, clean goatee in the BX walkin around with a t-shirt around their head (‘cuz it’s too hot to wear it in the summer) and Jesus piece on they chest. They’re suave and are the only dudes I will let get away with calling me “ma.” They rep Boriqua to the fullest and even though they’re playboys, u momentarily dismiss any womanizing rumors the second he whispers sweet Spanish nothings in ur ear.
The Fighter – Georges St. Pierre
He’s disciplined, and has the body of Adonis. U always feel safe around him but because he gets paid to fight, he refuses to be one of those belligerent drunks that fight about nonsense for free. U can’t help but see what his hands can do in the ring and wonder what they can do to u in the bedroom. Also, see Kyle Rideau :o)
The Biker Boy – Carey Hart
Whether it’s a chopper, a GSXR, or a dirt bike, it’s still loads of power in between ur legs. The biker boy is usually tatted, has a pair of Spy’s on, is probably wearing a NorCal shirt, and screams Americana. With his rugged ways he’ll sweep u off ur feet and on his motorcycle as u ride off into the sunset together.
The Conscious Rapper – Common
He’ll take u to a vegan dinner, then convert u to Jah or Allah or Buddah or any other religion NOT christian or catholic, and tell u how much he respects women before fucking ur brains out and then recites spoken word about how explosive the sex was at the next open mic. Also, see Mos Def who although isn’t the flyest is way too smoov for his own good.
Pig-pen Sexy (As ATWG calls it) – Method Man
It’s that grimey gutta dude down the street who u swear would be the flyest if he would only change his stained shirt, cut his fuzzy ass braids, and take damn shower! Also, see Jim Jones (He’s so not attractive to me. But he’s soo not attractive that any remote hint of effort in the personal hygeine department with him goes a looong way.)
and The Wigger – Justin Timberlake
OK, when I think “Wigger” I totally think Malibu’s Most Wanted. But really, I’m just talkin bout the clean cut white boy that just so happens to have some soul in him. He doesn’t try to be anything, he just is. Also, see Robin Thicke