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Healing Fatigue.

I'm sure every single person that is reading this right now can agree with me when I say, "I. AM. FUCKING. TIRED". Tired of quarantining, tired of COVID, tired of the selfishness, tired of wearing a mask, tired of 2020, tired of the bullshit, tired of being tired. And let's not even get into all the things I have the privilege of simply being "tired" about.

You know what though? I'm tired of the good stuff too. I'm tired of eating healthy, tired of working out, tired of yoga, tired of meditating every morning, tired of gratitude at night, tired of constantly finding joy in things, tired of new hobbies, tired of putting in the goddamn work.

I'm suffering from what I like to call, "Healing fatigue". It's similar to what Gabby Bernstein coins, Manic Manifesting minus the hippy-dippy stuff (because I know not all of you fuck with it, and that's OK).

I'm taking walks, surrounding myself in nature, and getting fresh air. I'm doing yoga and just started pilates. I'm saving money, cooking at home, and barely drinking. I'm reading books, writing books, and starting a podcast. I'm learning how to play the ukulele, taking online classes, and attempting to watercolor. I'm going to therapy and investing in my future. I'm talking to friends, I'm not talking to friends, I'M GOING FUCKING CRAZY.

Because I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do - SO WHY ISN'T IT WORKING? Why have I not healed yet? Why am I not over him yet? I'm fucking tired of feeling this way!

Then, I realized that I'm not tired - I'm impatient.

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