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  • dearabi

But That Was Then, And This Is Now.

I was reading a magazine the other day (yes, those things still exist!), and it had a feature on the way women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s deal with certain situations. I wish I could remember where I saw it, because it was pretty spot on. It totally made me think of how much I’ve changed since the days I would “accidentally” be at the same club as the guy I just got into a fight with over the phone, and then “accidentally” dance with someone right next to him. The funny part is, I’ve done a lot of my growing in just the past 3-4 years. I still have a long way to go, but below are examples of how far (or not) I’ve come. If you have some of your own, please don’t hesitate to share them with me!

I see a guy that I like. Then: I would think of stupid little ways to get him to notice me like walk in front of him to go to the bathroom when I don’t even need to use it. Now: Think of stupid little ways to get as far away as possible from him like walk to the bathroom when I don’t even need to use it.

Someone said someone said something about me. Then: I would grill the first “someone,” and ask what the second “someone” said before talking to them directly. Now: I’d skip the middle man completely.

Me and someone just exchanged numbers for the first time. Then: I’d wait for them to contact me first. Now: I’d wait for them to contact me first (hey, fuck you lol).

The guy I’m seeing hasn’t called me all day. Then: Delete his number so that I don’t call/text him until he calls/texts me. Now: Hit him up first to see if everythings good, then delete his number so that I don’t call/text him until he calls/texts me.

I found the name of the ex/next. Then: Put my CIA stalker skills to use and find out everything I can about her. Now: Put my CIA stalker skills to use and fid out everything I can about her (again, fuck you lol).

I found the ex/next on social media. Then: If her profile is public, compare myself to her everyday until she is no longer an issue. If it’s private, yell out “dammit” then find mutual friends and pictures. Now: If her profile is public, check her out because it’s bound to happen. Then get over it, remind myself I’m awesome, and never visit her page again.

I hear a rumor about my man cheating on me while he’s at work/out of town. Then: Call him yelling, hang up on him, then blow up his phone with nasty text messages. Now: Wait until he’s back to talk to him in person.

The rumor isn’t a rumor. Then: Call him yelling, hang up on him, blow up his phone with nasty text messages, go on a social media rampage. Now: Talk to him in person so I can see his FACE when he lies to me. Then get everything off my chest, so I have no reason or excuse to see him again.

Shouldn’t see someone anymore. Then: Tell him I can’t see him anymore … then still see him. Now: Never say what I can’t do.

Had a bad day. Then: Throw something or cry or mope or scream or all of the above. Now: Run by the water.

Had a bad break up. Then: Cry, get wasted, talk shit about my ex, party, mope, cry, get wasted, talk shit about my ex, party, mope, repeat for at least a month. Now: Cry, write, and spend as much time as possible with people I love that love me back.

#growth #now #then

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