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  • dearabi

Baby You Deserve

The other day a girlfriend of mine vented to me about her recent insecurities with her new boyfriend. Mind you my girl is tall, has a pretty face, and gets asked out on dates all the time, so I wasn’t exactly sure where this was all coming from. She said she was on her rag but later confessed that he was the hottest guy she’d ever been with. I looked at a picture of him, she was right. “So what are you gonna do,” I said. “Get with only ugly dudes?”

I remember an ex-boyfriend of mine texting me one day, “You are so beautiful and I am so lucky to have you. I don’t deserve you.” The sentiment was sweet, but due to the circumstances surrounding the relationship at the time, it bothered me more than it flattered me. WHY DON’T YOU THINK YOU DESERVE ME? If he didn’t think he was good enough for me, why should I think he was?

It just appalls me that someone could think someone else is too good for them based on looks alone, and this is coming from someone with self-image issues. I remember meeting this one breakdancer while working World of Dance a few years back. He was French-Arabic, and BEAUTIFUL AS FUCK. We exchanged a few texts here and there, talked on the phone once, and that was that. But at one point I remember thinking, “OMG how on Earth could be possibly be interested in me, look at him –  he’s too hot for me!”

I immediately heard a needle being dragged across a record to a halt, and the world stopped momentarily. You know like in the movies in response to a “Did he just say that?” scene. FOR FUCKING SHAME.

I know some women who purposely date men that aren’t better looking than them (the definition is up to the individual), for fear of getting played. I don’t agree with the practice, but I definitely see the logic. And I rather date a man who wasn’t that attractive (again the definition is up to the individual), than NOT date someone because I thought they were too hot for me. “The prettiest people do the ugliest things,” and while an amazing personality can make a five a seven, you can never make up for having an ugly personality. Being “handsome” may give a man more options to cheat, and being “beautiful” may allow a woman to take advantage of your love –  but it does not make them any better than you.

So the next time you’re on a date sitting across from someone you can barely even look at and start to think to yourself that you don’t deserve them, use one hand to slap yourself and the other to take out your phone and re-read this blog. Because you deserve it baby! You deserve that beautiful being in front of you, with an even more beautiful heart. You deserve their talent, their intelligence, and their ambition. You deserve it all.

Most of all, you deserve to be loved.

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