Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That (OK fine, maybe I have time for that)
As you get older, a few things happen. You can’t drink as much, and when you do it takes longer to recover. You get sleepy at 9pm, and wake up at 7am. Your “must haves” list gets shorter, but so does your tolerance. And you buy more Christmas gifts than you receive. Still, some things remain the same – the pettiness for instance, only gets better (or worse) with age. Below are a list of things I’m too old and never too old for.
I am too old to read in between the lines. Especially if these lines are on Facebook. If you need something, reach out to me. Because guess what? We are also too old to be prideful.
I am not too old to take a “Who is your X-Men spirit animal?” quiz on Facebook.
I am too old to emotionally cut myself by stalking the social media pages of the man who broke my heart, to see what they’re doing with their new boo.
I am not too old to check on the social media pages of random people I don’t know, and live vicariously through them. Oh hey iluvsarahii!
I am too old to do a weekend bender in Vegas.
I am not too old to give you a weekend in Vegas that consists of one “going out night” and the rest of the time to go to the buffet, and watch a BSB show.
I am too old to stand front row at a hip-hop/rock concert.
I am not too old to attend a hip-hop/rock concert from the comfort of a balcony seat or confines of a VIP section. I’m not boughie, I’m OLD.
I am too old to shop at Forever 21.
Thankfully, I don’t look too old to shop at Forever 21.
I am too old to go out past midnight.
I am not too old to binge watch the new season of Black Mirror from the comfort of my couch until 2:30am.