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Ain’t No Fun – FBF 1/24/12

The first time I heard about Molly, she went on an all girls trip with the Wolf Pack in Vegas about two years ago. I didn’t quite understand where she came from, or who she was exactly. I just knew she was a good time. More recently she made an appearance at Wonderful at The Mezzanine, but I spent most of the night hanging out with my girl Mary-Jane nd missed her. My friends on the other hand partied with her ALL NIGHT.

Since then, I kept hearing more and more about her and couldn’t help but feel curious. Why haven’t we met yet? We rolled in the same crowds, and truth be told she got around. But I’ve been feeling emo, and anti-social so the last thing I wanted to do was make a new friend. Alas New Years Eve came along and she was all everyone could talk about. I was starting to feel jealous.

I remember it quite vividly actually. It was 11:00 o’clock PM December 31st. I was with Scrubs and Crystal said we had until 11:30 to figure out if we wanted to meet her or not. 11:24 came, and Crystal wouldn’t take no for an answer. We met by the bar. Molly’s introduction was brief, but her presence was felt throughout the night and into the wee hours of the morning.

As me and my girls made our way through the crowded dance floor in time for the countdown, I could tell Molly had been there as well. Everywhere you looked people were smiling harder, laughing bigger, and dancing with their eyes closed as if they were in a room by themselves. That bitch was good. She was everyone’s date that night. What a ho.

Still, we saw each other twice more after that. The last time at Immortal. Her, me, and Crystal had a threesome. And let me tell you, it was the best date EVER. I thought I saw a man’s aura on stage. It was blue by the way. We had an amazing time, but once again, just like before – Molly was gone before sunrise. That’s when I realized I couldn’t take the bitch seriously. She was only there for me during the good times and you know what they say, “If you can’t handle me at my worst. Then you don’t deserve me at my best.”

See, Molly is the perfect booty call. She cartwheels into your life, then tippy-toes into the morning light without so much as a bobby-pin, or earring, or trace of perfume left behind. She doesn’t care who else you see, she’s not needy, never wants to talk, and doesn’t care if you don’t ever want to date her. So you don’t wife a chick like her. Which is completely fine by me, ‘cuz I ain’t lesbian anyway.

Editors note: I am in no way condoning or encouraging any of anything lol.

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