We Stay Fly, No Lie, You Know This.
Whether you call them yoga pants, leggings, or tights; the appreciation a man has for the female stretchy pant is no secret. Men everywhere are breaking their necks whenever a woman in black leggings walks past them. Whether accompanied by heels, flip flops, or Nikes it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that these tight garments are hugging a woman in all the right places. Unless you’re rail thin or obese, they’re accentuating small booties, and containing the cottage cheese thighs. And if a man is really lucky, he will come across a woman in tights that treats cheap Forever 21 leggings like real pants and get a glimpse of what kind of underwear she’s wearing – if she’s wearing any. This Valentine’s Day I wouldn’t be surprised if men took to Lululemon for gifts instead of Victoria’s Secret. But don’t worry men, we didn’t forget about you.
I once heard that a suit to a woman, is like lingerie to a man and I completely agree. If that’s the case, then basketball shorts are to women, what yoga pants are to men.
There’s just something so effortlessly sexy about them. The weird thing is, I prefer them without the matching jersey. Unless you’re lifting up the bottom of your jersey to wipe the sweat off your face during a game, and exposing your obliques. In that case, you are excused. However, I like them with a tee under a hoody just the same. Oh, and with kicks NOT flip-flops. I understand you’re just running out to buy some eggs, just understand it doesn’t have the same effect.
What’s even more awesome, is females can look just as sexy in a pair of basketball shorts too! I own a few pairs because they’re incredibly comfortable. Easy breezy if you must, so I totally get why men wear them even off the court. I usually look a hot mess when I wear mine, because it means I’m either going to bed or the gym. However, I never fail to get a nod of approval by some horny dude willing to fuck anything that breathes. Yay me!
The best part about basketball shorts is if you’re well endowed, your junk is just bouncing around everywhere while you dribble down the court. It’s pretty fucking amazing, and I’m sorry but I just can’t help but stare. It’s equivalent to a female not wearing a bra on a cold night in only a white tank top. Why would she be wearing a white tank top on a cold night? I don’t fucking know, maybe she’s a whore?! The point is, if you’re cute and wearing basketball shorts? More than likely those Wilson’s on the court aren’t the only balls I’m thinking about.
Editors note: All that basketball shorts mumbo jumbo is revoked if you are wearing them while taking a mirror pic of yourself.