I’ve documented the shit that bitches love for the past few years. Just as the tides change, seasons change and what we love changes along with it. What better time to write a new edition than while in quarantine and I ain’t got shit else to do? It will be a good way to for me to self document and hopefully get a kick out of in the future. Hoping you get a kick out of it too.
Tik Tok. Good God y’all love this shit so much – TOO MUCH. Not going to lie, it’s entertaining and creative for the most part … until I see someone use it wrong. Last time I checked, the main points were to use music and some sort of choreography. Since it’s first emergence, it’s involved to intricate lip-syncs of KUWTK episodes. While I don’t have an account myself, I ain’t mad at it. Thanks for staying inside to film these and keeping the rest of us entertained. Bitches love being a savage (and classy and boughie and ratchet).
Dalgona coffee. I haven’t drank coffee for maybe two months now. Ever since Rach put me onto Mudwatr I’ve drank that almost everyday and save the frappacinos and mint mojito’s from Philz for special occasions. Still, it was impossible to escape the Dalgona coffee trend. Almost every other story on my feed one morning had the delicious, whipped drink on it. Similar to a Greek frappe, it’s equal parts instant coffee, sugar, and boiling hot water whipped into a fluffy cloud and placed on your milk of choice. It tastes delicious. Unfortunately, it also tastes like insomnia and an immediate trip to the bathroom. Bitches love things that are sweet and bad for them.
IG challenges. Any of them. All of them, but especially the #DontRushChallenge. There’s a bunch of different versions now – Cambodia, MUA, Nigerian, keto, healthcare, drag queens, desi, gym, etc. etc. and I really enjoy them. Just don’t ever ask me to be in one of them. That would require effort, and I’ve worn the same thing for two days straight and haven’t showered. Bitches love not giving a fuck.
Baking bread. Yooo, when the hell did everyone turn into a bread baker? Ya’ll done turned your kitchens into Tartine and I’m over here shoving King’s Hawaiian bread in my mouth as I type this. I’m not hating at all, I’m here for it. I just have questions. Did you already carry yeast in your pantry? Is banana bread that fucking good? Can I have some of whatever you make next. Bitches love making bread.
Tiger King. I remember browsing through the section of new Netflix releases before Tiger King took off thinking that the trailer looked interesting. I figured, “Sure, why not?!” My boyfriend was surprised. Next thing you know we’re done with the entire series in two days. I can recall saying, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” several times during our binge watching. It was a classic case of you can’t make this shit up. Hate to say it, but I was obsessed and judging by the amount of memes, interviews, and Tiger King themed Zoom parties that have occurred since it’s debut, I wasn’t the only one obsessed. Bitches love big cats. But they hate that bitch Carole. Baskin.