For those who really know me, New York shouldn’t be much of a surprise. I’ve wanted to move here since I graduated high school. While I was hesitant, and at points even defiant, it was only a matter of time. Apparently, timing is everything. So what made me leave this time?
I wish I could see your faces right now. But listen carefully – I didn’t leave for a man. There’s no secret boyfriend living in the LES that woo’d me into leaving the city and people I love. And I didn’t move to run away from a man either. I know I can be pretty pathetic sometimes, but even I know you can’t run away from your problems – they always catch up.
However, a man unknowingly did inspire me to move. Matter of fact, it’s the same man that inspired me to quit my job back in November. Seeing his financial freedom, and how he was able to just come and go as he pleased was more mind blowing than the sex we had (and trust, the sex could rival armageddon). I admired his whimsicalness, and envied his lack for getting attached. While I experienced with brute force the negative repercussions of his carelessness, it also made me care more about my own priorities.
Looking back at this non-relationship I had with him, I had (and still have) plenty of gripes and regrets. I questioned my self-worth, and felt my dignity dissolve in his presence. I shed tears for this man. I beat myself up over this man. But I did not move because of this man. That would be giving him credit he didn’t deserve, and I’ve already done too much of that. But. I would’ve never made this life-changing decision, and experiencing this amazing opportunity had it not been for this man. And that’s the perspective I’ve chosen to take.
They say that everything happens for a reason, and people are in and out of your life with a purpose. If this is true, then he taught me not to settle for good, but strive for great. He was in my life to let me know I deserved better. In every way possible.