Joy/Pain Ride – TBT 04.04.11
He’s not what you want, but he’s exactly what you need … right now.
Who knows how long you’ll be able to detach your feelings from his embrace at night, but you figure you’ll continue to spend time and have fun with him until the time you spend with him is no longer fun.
Because he feeds you, and makes you feel beautiful. He lets you hold his three fingers while you walk, and places his hand on your thigh when you rest your head on his shoulder. He takes care of you, and carries you from the couch to the bed when you’re too tired to get up. He kisses, and hugs, and snuggles, and caresses, and knows exactly what position makes you explode.
And all the reasons you want to stay are all the reasons you want to leave.
Because you’re five days away from your deadline. Four dates away from going off on him. Three clicks away from the “truth.” Two strikes away from taking it back THERE. And one pitcher away from pouring your heart out.
But he’s so convenient. And you’re so lonely. And he’s right there. Staring at you. Looking like a sexy motherfucker. Making you feel like it’s the first date all over again. But it’s not. And you already know. He’s the wrong person at the right time. But he’ll do, for right now.
So you guess you’ll just go along for the ride. Until a shinier, more reliable car comes and swoops you up.
Or maybe you’ll just fucking walk. You could use the exercise anyway.