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It’s The End of the World As We Know It.

According to the Mayan calendar, the world is supposed to end on December 21st. While I don’t believe the hype, I have contemplated what I would (like to) do if I only had 9 days left here on Earth. Thus, I have compiled the following bucket list.

Anal sex. You read right. We all know there is no “what-what” going on in this butt. Although I’m sure I’ll eventually try it and have friends who RAVE about it, I am still in no rush to find out for myself. However, I figure it can’t hurt as much as a meteor plummeting on top of me or burning from global warming. Right?

Sky Dive. I mean we’re about to die anyway right? Might as well beat death to the punch then. +1 if I scream “YOLO,” when I jump, +2 if I scream, “World Star!”

Have a one night stand. Apparently, I should’ve BEEN had one of those. But as we all know, I inhibit this crippling awkwardness that prevents me from talking to the opposite sex especially if they’re good looking enough to want to bang right then and there.

Sing on stage. To an actual audience. In college, I was enrolled in a music class. As part of our midterm, we had to sing a song of our choice to the class. Our professor jokingly said that if I was that nervous I could face the chalkboard. Naturally, that’s exactly what I did. But I always admired people who had the courage to perform in front of a crowd.

Skinny-dip in the Bellagio Fountain. One amazing night in Vegas me and some friends jumped int0 the Paris fountain (fully clothed btw) and had the time of our lives. So it only makes sense to step my game up. Nekkid.

See aurora borealis. There are so many beautiful places in the world, but this wonder has been on my regular bucket list since I first heard of it. I would like to see something beautiful the Earth created before the Earth destroys it.

Koala bear-ing Channing Tatum. I would never, EVER home wreck. But if we’re all going to die anyway, I could live with the guilt. P.S. When I say “koala bear-ing,” I really mean “humping.”

So what about you? What would be on your bucket list? Make it silly, I don’t want to hear about burying the hatchet or any selfless acts of kindness now!

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